What if he doesn’t have Short Guy’s Disease? Al Pacino is eye level with Tom Cruise at 5'7", but it hasn’t stopped him from bedding some of Hollywood’s most beautiful women. Photo by Barakaldo Digital on Flickr CC0 2.0 Ladies, and by this I mean single ladies , I ask you — what is this problem you have with short men? I mean sure, okay, maybe if they have Short Guy’s Disease. Taller than me by an inch, but only with both heels on the ground. That is, as many know, the condition some men acquire when they feel they have to overcompensate for their perceived ‘short’comings by acting like a hyper-aggressive manspreader. Even if you’re small, you can act like a big dick. Short guys have a reason to be fairly irritable — they’re discriminated against by women who overwhelmingly desire tall men. On every dating site, you’ll find women who want tall tall tall tall tall tall TALL TALL TALL!!! I really don’t get that. Who the hell cares if he’s short? I sure don’t, as long as he’s still taller than he is wide. (Corollary for shallow men: Prospective women must be ‘athletic’, politically correct singledudespeak for THIN THIN THIN THIN THIN!!!) Even older women — old enough to know better — buy into this size obsession. Haven’t they been through enough bad relationships, bad marriages, and bad treatment by idiot men who are tall and strong and can act like total dicks because — well, they can? (Corollary: Good-looking women who act like bitches because the hotter they are, the more shit they know you’ll take.) But no, some women never learn. Personally, I don’t give a damn how tall a guy is as long as he’s not @#$%in’ crazy or alcoholic. I think there’s such a thing as too tall. Many years ago, when I was still living in Connecticut, I had a Summer of Tall Men. One was a guy who was 6’3, an Internet friend I had a fling with in New York. The next was 6’4, who I met through a dating service. The one after that was 6’5, also through the dating service, and I was afraid to go back because the next one might be Lurch. “So, what do you like to do for fun?” Image by skeeze from Pixabay And no, I hadn’t specified ‘tall’ in my profile. These cloud-huffers came after me. I concluded my maximum cut-off (ar ar) for tall men is 6’3″. My cut-off for short guys is —I don’t think I have one. I’m 5'3 myself and I’m not sure I even know any men shorter than I. My big concerns are: Is he crazy? Is he alcoholic? Does he do everything his dick tells him to? Is he chronically depressed/life is over? You’d be amazed how much response you get when you put in your profile, “Short guys welcome!” (At least from those short men who bother to read profiles .) A handy rule of dumb is that those with Short Guy’s Disease are like dogs. The littlest ones make the most noise. Then there’s this guy: Believe me, being short hasn’t hurt this guy none. If you must be short, cute goes a long way. The late great Davy Jones (5'3) would agree with me. Photo by Jay Tambooli on Wikimedia Commons. Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic You might be surprised how short many celebrities are in person. I swear a few are lying about their height, or maybe their publicists are. I met Michael Berryman briefly at Fan Expo in Toronto several years ago. He’s That Guy you’ve seen in a million movies, the one who always plays villains and heavies. His most famous role is one of the cannibal savages in the original The Hills Have Eyes. By Stefan Borggraefe — Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0 We chatted briefly and I was surprised how short he was — almost eye level with me. I marveled at the mastery of Hollywood that they made him look so large in his famous movie. Some sources on the Internet say he’s 6'2, others 5'11. He’s probably lost a few inches as he’s getting up there in years. So, maybe originally 6'2"? Another alleged skyscraper that made me think, “WTF? the magic of Hollywood!” was Lou Ferrigno, allegedly over 6' tall. I didn’t stand beside him, but several years ago I was just a few rows away as he spoke on a stage, and he didn’t look very tall. Like, not much taller than I. He and Berryman may be losing height in their old age, or maybe I’m just losing my eyesight in mine! Anyway, I wouldn’t kick The Incredible Hulk out of bed for needing the stepladder to reach the top shelf. Ferrigno’s still hot in his sixties. Great inspirational speaker too, having overcome deafness and bullying from earliest childhood. Other hot short guys in Hollywood include Joe Pesci (my height exactly!), Emilio Estevez, Jon Stewart, Martin Sheen and Dustin Hoffman. Martin Scorsese, a giant among movie directors, also stands on his toes in a crowd next to Joe Pesci and I at 5'3. And Woody Allen, not my cuppa shagga-shagga but he has been for millions of other women, stands at a mere 5'5, although given how old he is he might need to stand in line with me and Joe and Martin. And you too, Davy! Yeah, I know Woody’s a scumbag, but he’s been married three times and partnered with Mia Farrow and Diane Keaton, and he seems to have a knack for nailing really young women. Is it because he’s a shady predator, or because even young women have free will and agency and a yen for older men? I leave that to others to debate. Gene Simmons of KISS says everything men do, they do to impress women. He claims it’s the reason they become athletes, form rock bands and even build cathedrals. Every big-and-bigger erection, he says, is to impress women. Okay, I would have guessed God for those big-ass churches but maybe the earliest Freemasons did it for the opportunity to strip off their tunic in July for the ladies. Haply the lasses shall forbear bidding me Aldric the Smelly now! Short guys are awesome. I’ve dated plenty. Tall guys are fine, too, but requiring height is a little pointless, especially if you decry men who mandate an ‘athletic’ body. Just look for someone who’s not too crazy, doesn’t have a lot of self-inflicted health problems and who’s fun to be around. I’d rather be with a short fun guy than a tall self-worshipping egotist. Some wicked good guys won’t necessarily tower over you. And that’s a good thing. Because I have just one word for you when you’re kissing them: Whiplash. Did you like this post? Do you want to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter  Grow Some Labia  so you never miss a damn thing! There are also Substack  and Spotify podcasts of more recent articles!

A DEI reboot could more consciously train women to be proactive and assertive, and handle conflicts like powerful adults, not just focus on male behavior With Girl Power comes personal responsibility. From Rawpixel Criminy, I didn’t even scratch the surface of what DEI could accomplish with my recent article, Why DEI Is Still A Good Idea. I almost want to take it down after brainstorming with my new creative partner, Radical Radha at Radically Pragmatic. I wasn’t thinking outside the box when I wrote it. When you’ve been locked in a ‘social justice’ prison for what, like twelve years?—you can’t see the sunlit field beyond the trees. But, I did suggest diversity of thought, at least, which DEI sorely needs. But what Radha and I uncovered is that it’s about the people and the workplace exclusion problems that DEI has thus far not identified, or flat-out ignored because of too much, rather than the right amount of focus on biology—skin color, sex, ethnicity, etc. Radha and I are collaborating on a couple of articles exploring in meatier detail how DEI can become a real force for good. This article focuses more on improved DEI for males and females, and Radha is handling racial and ethnic challenges. I haven’t yet been organizationally worked over like a Mafia snitch for being white, but I haven’t worked in an office in nearly six years. To misquote jazz vocalist Dinah Washington, What a diff’rence a second perspective makes! Cleanse DEI of harmful assumptions about lack of female agency DEI is hailed as the ‘fix’ for ‘systemic’ bigotry and the unfortunate natural human tendency toward ‘othering’, but in a stunning revelation last November, the New York Times and Bloomberg News shelved a groundbreaking study that shed a very negative light on DEI, to which more than half of Americans have been subjected. The study found that the psychological impacts of DEI training were overwhelmingly negative—that certain practices “could induce hostility, increase authoritarian tendencies, and foster agreement with extreme rhetoric.” It also found that ‘anti-oppressive’ rhetoric actually increased it in participants, finding “consistently amplified perceptions of bias where none existed. Participants were more likely to see prejudice in neutral scenarios and to support punitive actions against imagined offenders.” It increased ‘hostility’ and ‘punitive tendencies’ by double digits across several measures. The study addressed antiracism DEI, but it sounds exactly like what’s been happening with male/female work relations, too. DEI encourages ‘authoritarian attitudes’ and ‘coercion and control’. Racial and sex discrimination and prejudice share many similarities. DEI’s sex focus has historically targeted male power—tunnel-visioned on men’s responsibility toward women, whether managerial or not. Its obsession with ‘white male privilege’, the COVID-19 of the social justice world, demonizes them for a birth circumstance while consistently ignoring the clear benefits for those with far more relevant ‘wealth privilege’, and its symbiotic twin ‘education privilege’. Both are greater predictors of success in life than skin color or genitals. You don’t need wealth to acquire a college education, including an elite one, but it certainly helps, and the better your education, the more wealth opportunities become available. DEI initiatives single-mindedly counsel (still mostly) male executives to help women get ahead, succeed, and get promoted, assuming women aren’t because of ‘systemic sexism’ and ‘misogyny’. It tacitly ignores female agency and the responsibility women have for themselves. It encourages female self-infantilization, applying the social justice principle that ‘oppressed’, ‘marginalized’ people are helpless in the face of overwhelming ‘oppressor’ power, so it’s the job of DEI to cajole those at the top to be magnanimous and give someone ‘marginalized’ a leg up. It’s a laudable goal, and we don’t argue people in power shouldn’t pay more attention to making sure people aren’t overlooked because of unconscious bias. But it’s not the only restraint. Better DEI would address or at least recognize other reasons why women fall behind—like prioritizing family over career, or being unable to keep up with job demands. Or, and this is a big one, Imposter Syndrome. A researcher at Harvard Business School found that women are far less likely to apply for their dream job if they don’t have 100% of the job skills listed, whereas men will jump at it even if they only have 60% of them. Women also shy away from positions more stereotypically held by men, such as managerial or analytical roles. Someone needs to survey HR and hiring managers about the difficulty of recruiting women into levels and departments that need that diversity. It’s quite possible DEI needs to teach more female empowerment—to females. Or that many women may be forgoing the career success men customarily pursue because they’ve learned they can’t, in fact, ‘have it all’. At least not to the extent Hollywood depicts. That’s a work/life balance policy that may have to change. Social justice-ridden DEI discourages asking questions outside the narrative, which centers around what men need to do for women, much like race-focused DEI demands from white managers. There’s a suggested passivity for women drawn from the social justice school of feminism that regards all women as victims of ‘patriarchy’ and all men as misogynists to one degree or another. Misogyny and sexism persistently exist, of course, as exemplified by the public CEO or business executive du jour forced to resign ‘to spend more time with his family’ because of some allegation of subpar dick control. Unconscious bias is real too, but so are the aforementioned female values and sometimes self-limiting beliefs. It’s not that women are necessarily being passed over because on some level of the male brain—‘ giiiiiiirlllll!’— but because they’re simply not applying. Women possess an enduring confidence problem, clearly. This is where DEI can focus more effectively. When women fail to pepper the C-suite, male executives are blamed for not doing enough. Countless articles detail male frustration with DEI initiatives focused on what a lousy job they’re supposedly doing, how it’s their responsibility to hire more qualified women, when they’re trying but they can’t always cajole them on board. Others feel, or receive in employee feedback, the widespread feeling among male employees that DEI sex equity is a zero-sum game, in which a woman who wins means a man loses (as opposed to, say, a man who doesn’t get the job because another man did?). Or that the people being hired aren’t the most skilled, and it shows. DEI, some critics claim, stands for Didn’t Earn It. That’s not always accurate. Women’s workplace responsibility Every woman in an office raises male fears—and the real possibility—that a male employee may get accused of something he didn’t know he was doing—sexual harassment, or a ‘microaggression’. Greater female inclusiveness can mean a litany of complaints to the HR manager about alleged male predations, transgressions, and ‘microaggressions’. Operating on the non-social-justice assumption that women are full adults with their own agency and responsibilities, DEI can smooth workplace relations by teaching women, as well as men, how to handle workplace conflicts, assuming equal responsibility for both. Many workplaces hold sexual harassment training workshops, to teach men how not to act with women, and women to respond a certain way if they do. Not so much, the woman’s responsibility for her own behavior, words and actions, and whether minor issues can be resolved between the two disputants. Where a new and improved DEI could serve to clear the path for a smoother workplace experience is to teach women to be politely assertive and to consider whether she needs to subject the alleged offender to potential embarrassment in front of an HR manager, or something that could wind up in a report on his record. It’s terrifying to confront a male colleague about a comment or behavior you found inappropriate, not knowing how he might react. But men have good reason to fear female overreactions too. Years ago I worked in an office where a male colleague conducted live seminars for businesspeople, in conjunction with a facilities-providing business partner. During one seminar, one of the business partner’s female colleagues was assisting in the presentation, and Bob said, intending it as a joke, “Can you please change the next slide, Vanna ?” The colleague didn’t appreciate his comment or find it funny. She felt professionally diminished. Whether we agree with her assessment is beside the point; I took issue with how she handled the problem, rather than whether she was right to feel that way. Everyone’s experience is different, and we are all individuals. I wouldn’t have felt diminished, but that’s just me. This woman raised a holy fuss. She went back to the office and screamed to the boss about Bob’s comment. The boss then called our office and screamed at Bob’s boss about what happened. Our managers now had to repair a relationship with our business partner because our male employee had been accused of offending a female employee. It didn’t have to go that far. It was an offhand comment, meant in humor that landed the wrong way with the female colleague and perhaps with seminar attendees as well. In retrospect, he clearly shouldn’t have said it. But it was a comment, not even an overtly sexual one. It wasn’t a rape at an office Christmas party. On the scale of male workplace offenses against females, this one rates pretty low. Image by Gerd Altman from Pixabay What if she’d been trained to handle minor problems on her own? What if she’d called Bob, explained she wasn’t happy about his embarrassing comment but she wanted to address it with him personally, because she didn’t believe in creating unnecessary drama for him because she doesn’t want to hurt his career? This approach would have first offered him a reason to not get mad and also to listen to her, hopefully more openly, because she’d shown him professional respect by stating up front she didn’t want to create problems for him at the office? If Bob had handled it poorly from there, then it might have been necessary to escalate. But even still, she could have kept it in perspective, with less emotional drama, like, you know, a stereotypical woman, and not damaged the business relationship so much. And you know what? I had my own separate problem with Bob, and I went to our manager first, and guess what: He told me to attempt to work it out with Bob. And I did. And we did. It’s time for DEI to address how male and female colleagues can address grievances with each other first, in a prescribed manner, with guidelines on how to address the complaint, and how to react to criticism. Related: The ‘Sheila Agreement’ - How To Handle Conflict Like Big Girls (And Boys) This would apply both ways; women can be klutzy and inappropriate too, and sexually harass; men have a right to expect professional behavior and communication too. The purpose would be to impress upon both parties that it’s best for them to resolve their grievance with the other like adults rather than running to HR. The alleged offender can agree or disagree with how the other party took the comment or action, but should then be on personal notice that it’s best not to repeat that action or comment again, because continuing harassment or offense is a better reason to escalate. A fairer, more professional workplace requires everyone to accommodate a little more, not just men. For women who aren’t very assertive, it will push them more, perhaps make them more inclined, eventually, to apply for jobs and promotions they can handle, whether they tick off every skill on the hiring manager’s fantasy list or not. Improved DEI can equalize women’s responsibility toward their behavior and treatment of their male associates and encourage both to attempt to resolve their differences personally. And men will feel less threatened by the potential for female theatrics. How to fix this Get rid of harmful, toxic, social justice ideology—the simplistic view of biology-based oppression dynamics that don’t apply in First World democracies or the notion that only ‘oppressors’ need to ‘do the work’ and challenge their biases. All humans are biased, and everyone needs to ‘do the work’. Assume that all workshop participants are adults who need to understand issues from another’s perspective and attempt to be less judgemental and quick to jump to the wrong conclusion. That both sexes bear personal responsibility for themselves and to address grievances with the opposite sex first with professional respect and then with a calm explanation of the grievance. The grievance receiver needs to listen, and whether s/he agrees with the offense or not, agrees at least not to repeat it. Cover bias for both sexes. Emphasize not making assumptions; not letting minor aggravations build up toward a big emotional blowup. Ditching social justice ideology and embracing a more mature, more inclusive view that everyone is a grownup who perhaps needs to better understand how the opposite sex views them and their behavior would create a more comfortable work environment, teach employees more effective conflict management skills, and assume equal responsibility for both sexes, even in a power hierarchy. And maybe women will apply for leadership positions more. The Mixed Messages Of The Sexy Workplace Women And Power: Would We Be As Good At Running The World As We Think? I Confronted My Sexually Harassing Boss And I Won Did you like this post? Do you want to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter  Grow Some Labia  so you never miss a damn thing! There are also Substack and Spotify podcasts of more recent articles!

"He scared the living daylights out of everybody." The woke left damns Daniel Penny for trying to save others from a clearly disturbed black man. Would they laud him if the colors were reversed? Image by George Hodan on PublicDomainImages ‘The system’ unquestionably failed Jordan Neely. The clearly mentally disturbed Michael Jackson impersonator with a lengthy rap sheet shouldn’t have been on the New York City subway that fateful May afternoon. Or anywhere else. He needed to be off the streets. He had the right to live, but others have the right to ride the subway without fear for their lives. A black man went crazy on the F Train, a white man intervened, and America instantaneously transformed into a nation of mind-readers who knew exactly what the white man, Daniel Penny, was thinking as he brought Jordan Neely down in a chokehold reminiscent of George Floyd nearly five years ago. Except Penny used his arm rather than his knee. And it was all, like, white supremacy. Thus spoke social media and later, the prosecution. I don’t know if anyone on site took a poll of the political views of the people who were in the subway car at the time, but the ones who spoke to the media were 100% clearly afraid of Neely, regardless of their race. Maybe you have to have been in a situation like that to understand how non-partisan people can become when some lunatic is threatening them. Due process is for wussies I’ve been riding the Toronto subway for twenty years and the scary encounters I’ve had—none directed at me—compel me to empathize with the commuters on that hellish day, in a city with many times more mentally unbalanced people. The Toronto Transit Commission system has become a more perilous journey than when I first moved here. I only remember a handful of crazies terrifying the passengers. Like, four racist (non-white) ranters, none of which resulted in violence, thankfully. Just some intimidation, aggressive language about ‘white POS’s’, and man-spreading displays. I remember a couple of wild-eyed young people, clearly strung out, huddled together against the subway doors, uttering random, unfocused threats. I got off at the next stop and ran to the next car. They were white, in case you were wondering. When someone acts up I don’t make eye contact. I pretend to read the book I was reading a moment ago. I plan how I’ll react and what I’ll say if he directs his anger at me. I remember a Buddhist story I read about an observed violent man neutralized by a kindly older man who responded to his aggression with kindness and friendliness. I guess Daniel Penny didn’t read that book. I’m not sure he’d have remembered it if he had. Marines are trained to handle trouble their own way and their job is to neutralize the threat by reacting first and thinking later, unlike us civvies pondering what we’ll say and do if the miscreant turns on us. Military recruits are trained to perform many different threat situations over and over until their body reacts before their brain stops them. My scariest encounter was a few years ago on the bus when a man directed his aggression at a woman sitting behind me and higher up. I don’t know why he picked her out but he got right in her face and directly threatened her. The terrified, high-pitched answers she gave clearly indicated she was scared. Fortunately, he didn’t hurt anyone. Toronto, like most large cities, has gone a bit mad since the pandemic. I’m always aware. I keep a small can of hair spray in my purse, and my Mighty Keychain O’ Death close at hand. TTC passengers and drivers have been shot, assaulted, and slashed. A woman was set on fire by some out-of-it dude rather a lot like that poor homeless soul brutally burnt alive in, you guessed it, NYC just before Christmas. Consider all the preposterous action movies Americans consume, where we cheer on caricature heroes taking down the bad guys on their own and never suffering the consequences of their egregiously criminal behavior. No need to involve the law; the bleeding hearts will just let Serial Pedo-Ax Rapist go because he was diaper-trained too soon, and Stallone or Schwartzy or Van Dammit will ride off into the bright morning with his new lady love on the back of his motorcycle, because the law absolutely won’t arrest him for hanging a bad guy suspected of several murders , but never given due process, who the renegade hangs on a giant iron hook in a factory and then pushes into a furnace. Due process is for liberal wussies, yet the American moral compass spins like it’s atop a magnetite quarry when confronted with real life ‘good guy/bad guy’ scenarios. Armchair critics Penny was found not guilty of criminally negligent homicide and absolutely needed to go to trial. It’s what happens when you kill someone, however accidentally. Of course, for the armchair critics whose critical theory has already taught them everything they need to know about life, L’Affaire Neely/Penny was a cinch to parse. Penny is white. Neely was black. So of course it was Strange Fruit. I wonder how many of those riders celebrated Christmas last month thanks to Penny. His chokehold was ruled the cause of Neely’s death, the prosecution portraying it as a racial killing, and the defense as protection of others. Social media, of course, didn’t bother waiting for actual facts. As the trial progressed, one Black Lives Matter activist threatened riots if Penny was acquitted, which he was. The riots never materialized, but Americans do believe if they don’t like the way democracy or justice works, they can throw destructive collective world-class tantrums. The left did it during the Burning of Minneapolis and the right did it several months later when their boy lost the election. Yet it’s clear from the videos of Penny’s six-minute hold on Neely that the passengers held hostage believed Neely was a threat. He was on a NYC Top 50 list of homeless people in most desperate need of help. He’d been been arrested forty-two times, and had attacked other subway riders before, including a 67-year-old woman. He was depressed and schizophrenic. He needed serious help, and I understand the left’s sympathy for him. But only lounge-chair liberals can afford to damn Penny when, if any of them had been on that Subway Ride From Hell, might have sat back clutching their chests with relief at the sight of Penny holding down the threat. "He scared the living daylights out of everybody,” is how one woman described Neely. Privileged white and Black Lives Matter social critics, both programmed to arbitrate guilt by virtue of skin color the way an extra finger or third nipple once evidenced witchcraft, took to social media to jump on Penny for ‘murdering’ a black man, while pretending he wasn’t a threat. Or that he’d have been just as terrifying if he was white. Damning Daniel Penny is a luxury belief that will never impact those who never ride public transit. Americans endlessly carp about skyrocketing crime, and police and justice officials who do nothing, but then hyperventilate when someone steps forward to defend others. I’ve mentally rehearsed what I’d do if someone on the TTC was in real danger. I’d like to think I would try and do something. Maybe jump the guy or whack him with my keychain. Maybe I’d just sit there pissing my pants. Unless he was in my face. I might try Buddhism. I might try kindness and compassion. Or I might shoot hair spray into his face, which won’t permanently harm his eyes or choke him to death. It will likely get me arrested. But I won’t be dead. What his childhood was like or what bad breaks he got will be irrelevant when it’s life vs death, me vs the saber-toothed tiger or the hostile tribesman from a neighboring cave. If you possess a basic understanding of human survival, the Daniel Penny case, with no evidence of membership in a white supremacist organization or angry screeds against black people somewhere on a blog, was pretty clear-cut. Whatever his story, no one present disagreed with the narrative that Neely was terrifying. The jury agreed. Contrast it, then, to the social media treatment of Luigi Mangione, a more photogenic hero than the curly-haired, angular-looking, thin-lipped Daniel Penny, who does look like an extra in Black Klansman . Mangione, whose darker Mediterranean looks play more into the social justice image of the dusky-skinned Hero taking down The Man, especially those then-terrorist eyebrows that must make Columbia University hearts skip a beat, is worshipped and lusted after for murdering a rich, privileged white man in an industry highly unpopular with most Americans, who neither attacked nor threatened others, but simply walked to an investors meeting. Oh, Brian Thompson was evil because of denied coverage and ionospheric healthcare costs and little babies dying of leukemia? Well then, Jordan Neely deserved what he got because he had spent his life committing crimes, assaulting old ladies and threatened to kill someone on his last day. Right? The woke left luv Luigi, also, because he killed someone they can’t stand. They hate Daniel Penny because he killed a black man, infallibly an angel because, black. The woke right hates both victims. Jordan Neely deserves our compassion. He shouldn’t have died the way he did, and the failure is shared by us all. The problem of the mentally unwell and homeless goes far beyond anything we can comprehend. Maybe the City of New York should have invested more in mental health care, but how do you get people who can’t be forced to avail themselves of it? How about the parents who raise children they never wanted, who fail to provide love and support they may themselves not understand? If Americans had the collective moral understanding of a five-year-old, they wouldn’t damn Daniel Penny, average-looking white guy, but instead a full-of-himself self-important kid who looks like he belongs on Survivor. Penny said something on Fox News that really resonated, something I might think about if I’m in Penny’s position some day. Would he, Jeanine Piro asked him, do the same thing if faced with a similar situation one day? To which Penny replied, emotionally, “Yah. Totally. I would not be able to live with myself if I didn’t do anything in that situation and someone got hurt. I would feel guilty for the rest of my life.” The few times I’ve come close to death I’ve thought, “This will kill Mom if I die!” But both my parents are gone now. Knowing what I know—how violent some people are on the TTC, or on the street, where a homeless guy here was murdered by eight teenage girls a few years ago, that few if any people will try and help. I’m 61 and I want to think I would help. If I died, I might save a probably younger person attacked, and I’d feel like the world’s biggest chickens—t if I didn’t do anything when maybe I could have (although, not taking on a six-foot-four dude with a knife). It might be worth it knowing I could face my Maker saying, “I failed, but I really tried.” Then again, I might go down cringing and mewling like a dying kitten drowning in my own blood. You never know what you will do in a fight for your life until and unless you’re there. I hope I never find out. I hope you don’t either. But I hope there’s a Daniel Penny there to help. Because I will fight for him in court, and damn the next media hottie Death Wish wannabe action hero. Did you like this post? Do you want to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter  Grow Some Labia  so you never miss a damn thing! There are also podcasts  of more recent articles there too!

DROP ME A LINE Contact Me Questions, comments, offers to write for your blog or website, or blistering, computer-melting flames may all be sent here! Toronto, Ontario growsomelabia@gmail.com First Name Last Name Email Your message Send Thanks for submitting! Substack Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER for all my latest on power feminism, reclaiming your power, and the ongoing culture wars. Visit Substack >> Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER

Grow Some Labia? What the heck does that mean? When we want men to ‘man up’ we urge them to ‘grow a pair’ or ‘grow some balls’. Women can’t grow balls, but our labia is what would have become our scrotum if we’d been born male. Grow some labia today, take back your power and don’t be the victim. The future is yours. ABOUT GROW SOME LABIA If you’re as fed up with what passes for modern discourse in the Ignited States of America, Can’tada or Eur-up-my-nose, if you’re as sick of the left’s shit as you are of the right’s, you’ve come to the right place. I’ve been kicked off Medium, Vocal.media and CounterSocial for upsetting transflakes and other wokies. I speak truth to power and they don’t like it. Grow Some Labia encourages us to speak truth to and challenge unlawful, self-appointed authority and political extremism. Here there be facts, science, history, evidence, nuance, and, to put it in the immortal words of Dusty Springfield, looking at both sides now. I also offer my experience to women and others who have experienced or would prefer never to experience an abusive relationship. I had a fantastic mother who drilled it into my head growing up that I should never tolerate an abusive, controlling man in my life. I listened. And I have never been abused by any man. I teach women, men and others the lessons I learned about how to not get abused. So if your mother didn’t tell you these things, I will, and maybe you will never, ever be hit by a man. Or ever again. It’s your choice. As security expert Gavin de Becker stated in his excellent book The Gift of Fear, “The first time he hits you, you’re a victim. The second time, you’re a volunteer.” Contact Me The Beginning... I have my mother to thank, who taught me never to tolerate controlling, abusive men. Rest in peace, Mom! Oct 12, 2024 A Frenchwoman Is Dead Serious About Holding ALL Her Rapists Accountable The Gisele Pelicot case highlights just how frighteningly high is the number of 'normal' men who have a penchant for, and might be... Jul 31, 2024 The 'Sheila Agreement': How To Manage Conflict Like Big Girls (And Boys) An ex-friend pulled a Mean Girl on both myself and another friend, so we devised a way to avoid hurt feelings with better conflict... May 21, 2024 Bitch: When I Was The Abuser (Part II) It takes two for an abusive relationship. Because an abuser can't abuse a person who isn't there. This is Part II. Bitch: When I Was The... Apr 29, 2024 What Both Women & Men Can Learn From The Sordid Andrew Huberman Affair(s) He was good at playing women, but he offers further lessons on red flag recognition, as well as a helpful lesson for single men who don't... Apr 6, 2024 How I Grew a Pair (Of Labia) And Left An Abusive Marriage: Guest Post Part I Persephone Phoenix shares how women need to follow their own hero cycle. 'You go through hell and you triumph in the end. No one will... Nov 11, 2023 Pat Benatar Was A Better Listen In The '80s Than Whitney Houston The content we consume normalizes values and beliefs in our brains in ways we don't even know, whether good or bad. Thank Goddess I... How Not To Be Abused Substack Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER for all my latest on power feminism, reclaiming your power, and the ongoing culture wars. Visit Substack >> Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER

"GROW A PAIR" That's what we say to men when we think they're acting weak. "Grow some balls!" So what do we say when women are acting weak? We can't very well tell them to grow some balls. Women can't, of course! Women need to 'grow some labia'! They're the parts of the vagina that would have become the scrotum for the balls had she been born a male instead (and since she didn't, what would have been her balls are her ovaries). But I doubt you came here for a female anatomy lesson. It's time for us to grow some labia and woman up, show more strength, challenge ourselves more. Time to take more charge and responsibility for our lives, and spend less time blaming 'The Patriarchy' or systemic sexism. Those things exist, for sure, but at some point we've got to recognize the buck stops with the woman in the mirror and we need to claim our power (or reclaim it if we gave it away somehow!) So it's time for women everywhere to GROW SOME LABIA! I've written a few blog posts about how we can do exactly that and reclaim our power! Feminism The differences between victim feminism, which sees women as chronically aggrieved and victimized by men and 'The Patriarchy', and power feminism, which is more focused on one's self, achieving and claiming personal power and using it for the betterment of others. Dec 21, 2024 The Transfolk Who Really Do Need Our Support The experience of 'The Bearded Lesbian' reminds us some folks really do need to transition; and how LGBTQ can fail them I began following... Dec 5, 2024 American Feminists Don't Need A 4B Movement The South Korean feminism project will be dead in the water. Like it or not, we need men, and they need us. Maybe we just need to reform... Nov 24, 2024 Emma Watson, Emma Watson, Wherefore Art Thou, Emma Watson? The foxy fauxminist has gone missing in recent years. No movies. No fauxminist outbursts. Not even any trans love tweeted. I... Nov 17, 2024 Progressive Democrats Hate Women More Than The Right. Especially Feminists. Right-wing misogyny isn't How The Left Was Lost. It was women's, the primary administrators and executors of patriarchy and misogyny. The... Oct 12, 2024 A Frenchwoman Is Dead Serious About Holding ALL Her Rapists Accountable The Gisele Pelicot case highlights just how frighteningly high is the number of 'normal' men who have a penchant for, and might be... Sep 14, 2024 Let's Have A Grownup Talk About Privilege - With Curiosity Rather Than Outrage It's real. It's worth exploring even for the UnWoke. Its purpose is to open our own eyes rather than beat up others (and ourselves) over... Feminism Substack Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER for all my latest on power feminism, reclaiming your power, and the ongoing culture wars. Visit Substack >> Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER