These simple rules will dramatically improve your odds (and save you from unnecessary rejection) CC Image from tao alexis on Wikimedia Commons In this guide, you’ll learn: The 33-Minute Rule: Why your appearance is your best “opening line.” Reading the Room: How to spot facial cues and “stop signs” before you say a word. The Exit Strategy: How to handle rejection (or “drama queens”) with your dignity intact. I don’t fault a guy for trying. Last summer a man ran across the street to catch up with me. I cut to the quick— “If you’re hoping for a date, I’m seeing someone.” His face fell and I added, as I often do, “I think it’s great that you took the initiative to do what you did. It’s flattering. I hope you’re more successful next time. Keep trying!” He saves face, he receives honest praise from someone who just rejected him, and encouragement. His timing was terrible, not his fault: I was on my lunchtime break, and had less than ten minutes to get back to my desk. I hate making snap decisions. If I have to, and these guys always force me, the answer is invariably NO. He was too young for one thing, and, I’ll be honest, clearly from a culture with famously limited romantic skills. Mostly, I’m skeptical of younger men because they’re never looking for a relationship—with me. Had I had a little extra time, I might have chatted for a bit. Women need to get to know you first. This is a major reason why the ‘cold approach’ often fails. But first, let’s start with a dating etiquette baseline for gentlemen wanting to approach strangers they find attractive. You’re not a bad guy for trying to get a date The universal, organic truth about life: It exists to mindlessly perpetuate more life. Unicellular organisms and bacteria split themselves. The other 99% of life on earth is male and female, sometimes hermaphroditic, but always designed to perpetuate life. Males and females, in the flush of youth, are designed to dig each other, and to hook up, fall in love, and make babies. The traditional rules and guidelines may be supremely messed up right now, but heterosexuality persists. For those of you who aren’t hetero, it’s okay, you’re outliers. The human race won’t die out. Don’t listen to J.D. Vance. Life has only one objective, and it doesn’t care about your identity or your politics. Now, let’s talk about you, Hot Stuff! The only two things that actually matter The gentleman who sprinted through traffic sure got one thing right: He was dressed decently, in office clothes. Celeste Davis put it succinctly in her excellent Substack article about why dating is so hard, especially for men who, she argues, backed up by a lot of research, need women more than women need men, and always have. Women spend an average of 33 more minutes per day than men each day on their appearance. But given who should be trying to impress who more, it should be just the opposite. Men should be the ones who take an hour pruning, shaving and beautifying before dates while women should be the ones rolling out of bed a few minutes before. First lesson: Look better Cold approach: This is critical. Work with what you’ve got, even if you’re average-looking. Dress decently, stylishly (for yourself!), get a flattering haircut. Never be the least attractive guy in the room. First impressions matter. This is something I will probably have to repeat until the end of time, even though it’s an easy hack, since most men will never do it. Once you’ve stopped looking like every other faceless Average Joe, there are strategic ways to approach women you’d like to get to know with reduced drama risk. Second lesson: Be aware You must pay attention to social cues. What’s she doing? If she’s scrolling her phone, she’ll likely be less amenable to an intrusion. Is she facing away from others even if not on her phone? Also not an open sign. Is she wearing earbuds? If she removes one and listens to you, move forward. If she brushes you off, move on. Does she look like she’s in a good mood? If she’s frowning or pissed off, don’t approach. Ergo: Pay attention to facial cues You seek that quick smile of unconscious recognition when she first glances at you that she finds you attractive in some way, but don’t fret if you don’t get. It’s why you need to look better. Since Average Joes would be hard to pick out of a police lineup, a fleeting smile leaps the first hurdle. But, she may have a partner already, or she’s not on the market for some other reason. It’s not a stop sign. Try chatting with her anyway, because The Smile might come shortly. Don’t spend too much time if she’s only being polite or exhibits signs of annoyance or discomfort; move on. Now: How to chat her up without blowing it Start a conversation. You won’t always be successful, even if it sounds natural, as it must. It may be difficult, given the environment. Pay attention to facial and social cues. Last year a guy approached me commenting, “Hey, I like your sunglasses!” Lucky for him, I was trying to meet guys with my wild ‘n’ crazy conversation starter. Also, he was cute. If he’d looked like Mr. Blends-Into-The-Woodwork I probably would have kindly brushed him off. I’ve given the Average Joes plenty of opportunity to disabuse me of the lesson they taught me long ago: If they look boring, they are boring. Men who don’t take pride in their appearance send the message they’re unserious or apathetic about finding a partner. If they are serious, they work to make the best impression they can, rather than aimlessly casting their line into the water looking for someone who’s also willing to settle. Don’t comment on her clothes if they’re commonplace. This guy observed a clearly outstanding accessory. If they were average sunglasses I would have said “Thank you,” and kept walking. But if the object of your affection wears something attention-worthy, comment on it! Say, “I agree!” with a big smile, pointing to her slogan button. Or, “OutRAAAAAAGeous shirt!” Sunglasses Guy got twenty minutes of my time before I cut the convo short, and if he hadn’t asked for my phone number I would have asked for his. What men relentlessly don’t understand is that women need a little time to get to know you. I quite comfortably generalize here. It’s not misandry, guys. Danger is our lived reality. It’s mind-boggling how few men understand this. “Come on, get in the car, I’ll take you up to the mall, you don’t have to wait for the bus!” “No thank you,” she says. “What’s the matter? I won’t hurt you!” “Come on, I’m a violent serial rapist! I’ll drop you off at the mall!” said no stranger ever. If she scooches away from you—LET IT GO. It’s frustrating, but it’s better than making her fearful, and it’s not important whether her discomfort is you, wokeness, some past trauma or she has a boyfriend. It’s a negative signal to move on. Make it natural. Ask for directions. You might get that fluttery initial smile. If she doesn’t go back to her book or mobile, crack a joke about how you once got lost in your own apartment. If she laughs and smiles—keep it up. And natural. Don’t try to be super-clever, which is hard to do when you’re nervous. If you can keep the conversation going for several minutes, ask if she’d like to get together again. You might get turned down, or you might not, but you probably won’t get accused of systemically oppressing a female person with your phallocentric entitlement. Neil Strauss advised in The Game that rejection is how you get better at getting a yes. How not to talk yourself out of a yes I will assume you’ve dropped everything by this paragraph and gone through your closet and schlepped to the thrift store anything that makes you look stupid, invisible, or worst of all, like Adam Sandler. I will assume you’ve at least made an appointment for a good haircut. So now, here you are, looking better than you did several sections ago. Congratulations, we can see you better now! You might find you’re kind of cute or handsome, after all. I’ve seen men I thought unattractive appear with a great haircut and think, “How did I miss that? Oh, he was hiding it.” You now have another small leg up on most of your competition, except for the babe-a-ramas. Fortunately, not all women want one. Don’t ask her name upfront She knows what you’re doing. You’ve just informed her you don’t understand the need to chat her up first. She has to make a snap decision. You’ll get a yes only if she finds you attractive at first sight. Don’t start by asking personal questions See the previous paragraph. Don’t comment on her physical looks Ditto. Be wary of ‘woke’ or ‘social justice warrior’ signals. These women can be fairly tetchy, although not all, of course. Research consistently shows that young liberal women report higher levels of mental health distress than other groups, and sometimes expect potential dating partners to tick a lengthy list of ‘acceptable’ political and ideological positions. What if she goes viral-worthy on me? Oh. Them. The drama queens. Here’s how to handle rejection. Don’t pull out your phone and record her. It will just inflame her, and draw attention from others who haven’t heard the previous friendly interchange, and think you’re the asshole. Don’t get defensive or apologize. You did nothing wrong. When dealing with a bad or over-reaction, your job is to remain calm, and the most powerful thing you can do is walk away. Nothing looks worse for a crazy woman than a man who doesn’t grovel for forgiveness, and then shows her his receding backside. Have standards and boundaries. Don’t tolerate bad behavior. “Sorry I’ve caught you on a bad day,” and walking away will encourage anyone who’s watching to respect you more than her. It’s easy to assume ‘the crowd’ is a bunch of wokies in sympathy with her. But they’re a small albeit loud minority. Chances are, the crowd is peppered heavily with normies silently sympathetic to you. Snappy comebacks for drama queens Give her something to think about before you pull your head-held-high retreat. Remember: Finding women attractive isn’t a crime. “Wow. I didn’t think it was bad form to ask for a date when we seemed to be getting on so well, but a simple No would have sufficed.”“Sorry, I wasn’t being patriarchal. It’s my day off.”“I was just being social, not systemic. Have a nice day.”“Thank you for making it clear I just avoided a big mistake.”“You’ve mistaken a polite introduction for an act of aggression. Thanks for helping me dodge a bullet.”“All you needed to say was, ‘No thank you’. But now I have a great story to tell on Facebook tonight about crazy feminists!” Remind her that shaming works both ways. Only offer a snappy comeback if you can walk away after your zinger and leave her. Otherwise, you will be drawn into her drama and lose face. The simple rules most men ignore If this advice sounds pedestrian or common sense, I can assure you: IT’S NOT. Most men will research anything except “how to get a girl to like me”. What if incels stuck in ’80s movies spent their time Googling to better understand women, instead of moaning to each other about hypergamous females and hot chads? I’ll sum it up in three points: Look your best. Start a conversation. Move on and try again. Good luck! And if you’d rather not try, you might well have a future as a career criminal. Did you like this post? Do you want to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter Grow Some Labia so you never miss a damn thing! There are also Substack and Spotify podcasts of more recent articles!

Beyond virtue signaling: Why genuine reconciliation requires acknowledging the messy, violent, and shared human history of Turtle Island Image by ivabalk from Pixabay There’s an interesting ritual offered by the Anishinaabe and Haudenosaunee bands of southern Canada called the Dish With One Spoon, in which they acknowledge they both have a right to the land, (the ‘dish’), and the one spoon with which they both feed from it. They agree to take only what they need and clean the dish for others. It’s a responsibility-centered covenant with which they bury ancient grievances, and agree not to let the nastiness from before happen again. Which involved an awful lot of warfare and land-seizing back in the day and a helluva lot of abuse by the Haudenosaunee against many others. The Haudenosaunee pretty much went all European on their neighbors, but today, there are no ‘land claims’ by the descendants of the conquered against the descendants of the conquerors. While there are Indigenous groups that offer their own land acknowledgments, the formulaics require deference for doing what almost every culture of humans has done at some point: Migrate to another place that sucks less than yours, and clear out anyone who gets in your face. Still, migrants often co-existed with contemporary neighbors via trade networks and fluid territorial use on a continent where ‘property rights’ were much fuzzier than they are today. The modern white land acknowledgment is loosely rooted in traditional North American Indigenous practices of acknowledging the host nation when visiting neighboring territories. Rituals included ceremonial greetings, diplomatic speeches before gatherings, and gift exchanges for permission to travel or settle. All perfectly respectful. But the land acknowledgments developed in the late-20th, early 21st centuries have less to do with respect for earlier inhabitants or ‘burying the hatchet’ than forcing ‘white oppressor’ self-flagellation. The newer intent differs from those offered by one Indigenous group to another, even when the land was acquired by brute force. Indigenous groups offer political histories of their battles and massacres when they meet in peace today, and recognition that ‘your people lived here, then our people lived here;’ somewhat more sterile than the white versions, which carry a subtle scent of public rebuke. The current ritual recitations, one can’t help but suspect, allow privileged progressives to shake their virtuous peacock feathers in others’ faces while not having to lift a talon to actually do anything for modern Indigenous groups, many of whom still live in gross poverty, only partially due to their displacement history.* Hypocrisy comes into play when the Indy-Indy land acknowledgements view the newcomers/conquerors/colonizers as the ‘current face of the land’, a/k/a the now-stewards. Unlike the descendants of white Europeans today who are now being held responsible in court for occupying land they’re apparently not ‘the current face of’. The other history of abuse of Indigenous people The land acknowledgement’s higher purpose, for white people anyway, is to recognize the rights of Native peoples and to de-legitimize the injustices done to them. But Europeans weren’t uniquely racist, violent or genocidal. With a very few extremely isolated exceptions, North America’s original inhabitants were anything but. Globally and historically, humans exhibit, and always have, every single pathology now attributed in certain circles only as the ownership of white Europeans and their descendants: Rape, mass rape, torture, massacre, cannibalism, slavery, tribalism (the ancient equivalent of ‘racism’), looting, land acquisition and genocide . In fact, raiding, which is historically documented around the world, resulted in extremely high murder rates. Sometimes it wiped out entire communities. Genocide, before it was uncool. It wasn’t Shakespearean mass slaughter 24/7, but Indigenous migrant settlement wasn’t necessarily paper-shuffling and rubber-stamping, either. Like everywhere else, violence within groups and against others fluctuated by region and time period, with long stretches of peace in some places, and some tribes noteworthy for their aggressive violence: The Sioux, the Apache, and the Haudenosaunee (who we’ll get to in greater detail shortly), just to cite a few examples. Up in the Arctic, the Copper Inuit (or ‘Eskimo’, as anthropology professor and author Lawrence Keeley called them), were cited as an example of a culture that, “experienced a high level of feuding and homicide before the Royal Canadian Mounted Police suppressed it….Other Eskimo of the high arctic who were organized into small bands also fit this pattern.” The Netsilik Inuits’ murder rate, he noted, was noticeably high in comparison to modern times, even after the Mounties cracked down on interband feuding.** Some true histories of Native colonizing and land appropriation In order for Canadian society, at least, to achieve genuine ‘truth and reconciliation’, we all need to acknowledge that humans are far more similar than they are different, especially when it comes to the basis of all wars: Taking other peoples’ stuff, and that it’s ‘colonization’ when one people come to live on other people’s land, regardless of what their SPF sunblock level is. Let’s examine two of the best-documented histories of Indigenous people acting rather a lot like European colonizers: Starting with the Haudenosaunee merger and acquisition (or ‘stealing’ as progressive parlance calls it) of traditional Huron land on which I’m living now—southern Ontario. After the seventeenth-century Beaver Wars , the defeated Huron-Wendat gave up their land to enemies who either killed, assimilated or displaced them. Sound familiar? It was an aggressive expansionist campaign by the Haudenosaunee that succeeded, although the Wendat population had already been greatly devastated by contact with European diseases. To be fair, the wars were driven partially by European influence. The Beaver Wars began with increased demand for beaver pelts which were the oil economy of the day. The Haudenosaunee exhausted their own supply, which necessitated pushing into Huron-Wendat territory where you could get all the beaver you wanted. It was an aggressive push which resulted in destroyed villages, with the current residents sometimes adopted, others scattered, and many fleeing to Quebec. The rest were creatively killed, sometimes involving a sloooooow effort involving burning, cutting or beating, and, if you were a Big Name Chief, the ritual consumption of your corpse to consume your strength, but also to show contempt for your weakness in getting captured and subjected to this, you little wuss. Victory was aided with the addition of British-provided firearms, and as we all know, the Great Spirit is always on the side with the most flintlock muskets. When the Haudenosaunee offer a land acknowledgment today, they reference the Huron-Wendat as the ‘original peoples’ of the land, rather a lot the way white ‘slightly less original peoples’ do, and this somehow reconciles the two without much fussing and agitating over who killed who and how, nor do they go to court over it. “Money, it's a crime Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie Money, so they say Is the root of all evil today” - Pink Floyd Meanwhile, down South of what lay beyond what would one day be known as the 49th Parallel…. Firearms access from the French aided the Ojibwe in the late 17th and 18th centuries when they expanded into Dakota Sioux territory who had already displaced the Crow, Cheyenne, and others unfortunate enough to live where the Dakota wanted to go. That, too, was shaped by European forces but it wasn’t much different from life before the palefaces. Archaeologists still don’t know who was responsible for expediting the 14th-century Crow Creek Massacre in what is now South Dakota, except that it wasn’t Europeans. Archaeology has unearthed many examples of pre-Columbian restless and acquisitive Natives: fortifications against enemies in places like the Mississippi Valley, and in the Southwest, in what is now New Mexico. The ancestors of today’s ‘Puebloans’ there,, who were formerly known as the Anasazi in the thirteenth century, engaged in attacks on their neighbors including mass killings and mutilations. ‘Anasazi’ is a Navajo term the Navs created for this group, meaning ‘ancient enemies’ or ‘enemy ancestors’. They changed their name to distance themselves from their well-named ancestors the way Philip Morris changed its name to Altria to escape their legally-established reputation for killing their customers. European contact didn’t introduce Indigenous violence, it reshaped it. This is just a hair-thin sliver of the Indigenous history violence not just of the people who lived on Turtle Island before the Europeans divided it up into states, provinces, territories, and viciously disputed voting districts, but that of nearly every single human community and culture anywhere in the world. Canadians today deal with endless land claims by Indigenous groups who may or may not have ‘stolen’ the land from those who lived there before they themselves were displaced. They sue the Crown rather than each other because to do otherwise would be to acknowledge that the Court has the ability to decide these claims, and no one wants that! We certainly should feel badly for the way our ancestors treated theirs, but why not do a Dish With One Spoon Ritual with the Canadian government, and its weary taxpayers? Only against non-Indigenous is past conquest a neverending legal battle rather than a fait accompli. Human history narratives are dishonest when they detail a story that only speaks to a fraction of human experience, and don’t hold the (genuine) victims of past violence accountable for that which they inflicted on others in extremely nasty ways. Violent Indigenous histories do involve numerous social, economic, and historical complications and pressures, pre-Columbian and post-, that also sound resoundingly modern: Trade disputes and wars; climate pressures; famine; replacing low populations by capturing others for breeding purposes. Bands, tribes, and nations also sought their own strategic dominance just as human societies continue to do. And if European torture and hideous executions were bad, they were pretty gawdawful here on Turtle Island, too. God help you if you were captured by the Comanches. Who, by the way, drove the Apaches off their land, but they don’t offer land acknowledgments; instead, today, they offer straightforward oral histories. The more one delves into the history of pre-Columbian cultures, the more one recognizes the need for Indigenous peoples to reconcile the truth with their established anthropological, archaeologically-supported, and equally shameful histories. Or stop expecting the rest of us to self-flagellate. Given this history, should there be such a thing as permanent historical entitlement? Land acknowledgments for all Real history is messy, shameful, and far less flattering than mythologies—or ‘oral histories’—pretend. Today’s white land acknowledgements are mostly a moral caricature which harm rather than help the truth and reconciliation debate. But moral claims are not enshrined in amber; they must be perpetually renegotiated as societies, and humans, evolve. Not all Indigenous support this pandering anyway, and know they can’t always blame the white folks or the government for their troubles. Many Canadian Indigenous ask hard questions of their own people about where the millions in reparative tax money is going and has gone. They complain to the government, and although there’s an existing financial act that mandates bands must account for the money they’re given, it was partially repealed, and the government stopped enforcing compliance, so poverty remains while others prosper. Indigenous North Americans’ histories, and their current plights, are far more complicated than land acknowledgments and other intellectual frippery offer, with band responsibility denied for and to Indigenous. Activists offer, instead, a vacuous ‘historical grievances’ brick wall that perpetuates, rather than solves, never-ending Native problems, aided by band leaders who don’t have to explain where the money went. Indy2Indy land acknowledgements never address land claims, which can literally drag out for decades in this country. Only we are expected to offer reparations. Integrity-driven land acknowledgments should reflect everyone’s shared responsibility for changing that which is in our power. Honesty surrounding Indigenous violence doesn’t exonerate European atrocities. But it reinvigorates history and reduces prejudice, on both sides, by acknowledging we have more in common than we know. Frances Widdowson, Disrobing the Aboriginal Industry: The Deception Behind Indigenous Cultural Preservation ) *Source: Keeley, 1996, War Before Civilization: The Myth of the Peaceful Savage ). Did you like this post? Do you want to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter  Grow Some Labia  so you never miss a damn thing! There are also Substack  and Spotify  podcasts of more recent articles!

The Reign of Error required more suspension of disbelief than a Fast & Furious movie. And now, Le Déluge of skepticism. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. From publicdomainpictures.net The February school massacre in Tumbler Ridge, British Columbia was committed by a not-so-committed ‘transwoman’. Jesse Van Rootselaar, like his predecessor Adam Lanza at Sandy Hook, warmed up by killing family members before moving to the secondary school where he killed six more people, and injured 27 more. I Google the ‘trans’ shooters to see if they’re a guy, or a girl on testosterone. Because nothing drives violence quite like the androgen rooster booster. While I tend to be fairly unsympathetic to the rainbow tribe’s overweening concern for ‘how this will affect transpeople’ as opposed to “how will this affect the victims’ families?”, I do feel sympathy for those transwomen who were cruelly misidentified on social media as the shooter. Van Rootselaar was just another typical male loner with a plethora of pre-existing mental health issues, including a preoccupation with online violence as entertainment, and of course, that classic male love affair with weapons. His attraction to transitioning brought the customary psychiatric co-morbidities conveniently ignored, as they have been for well over a decade in ‘gender dysphoric’ youth. That’s beginning to change, as we’ll get to shortly, but Van Rootselaar’s ‘gender dysphoria’ was almost certainly a related but not relevant side effect of his shooting spree. In fact, he allegedly expressed regret for having transitioned and for having ‘brainwashed’ himself. Van Rootselaar also shared with his fellow mass shooters participation in the ‘nihilistic’ darkweb where those who believe nothing is real and life isn’t worth living fester and suppurate. In fact, the relationship of the recent rise in transgender mass shooters may have grown out of a fatalistic impulse already present in the trans movement, which might make the violent darkweb more attractive, according to an Illinois doctor who explores the connection in her article, Gender Nihilism and the Revolutionary Impulse . Dr. Brooke Laufer emphasizes that exploring transgenderism and ‘gender identity’ causes neither violence nor criminal behavior. But, she notes, “When a person’s identity becomes detached from embodied reality, personal history, and stable relationships, it can drift toward nihilism: the belief that life itself has no inherent meaning or value. In that state, ideology can rush in to fill the void. For a small but notable subset of radicalized individuals, the combination of identity instability, existential fear, and moral absolutism can make violence feel not only permissible, but purposeful.” I’d be hard-pressed to identify a movement, subculture, or group as frighteningly detached from reality as transgenders, trying to escape an immutable biology that was set at conception. Even so, transgenderism doesn’t look much like a cause, just as a more brightly-colored iteration of underground nihilism. Laufer goes on to explore transgender-driven revolutionary groups like the Turtle Island Liberation Front, a collection of pro-Palestinian and anti-capitalist ideologues who’ve allegedly plotted attacks against ICE facilities. And the Zizians, better-suited for those drawn to a techno-apocalypse driven by AI. They’re young, they’re transgender, and they’re loaded for destroying society and remolding it with accelerationist Play-Doh. Public domain photo from Pxhere But if it seems as though transgenderism is now moving into a more dangerously violent phase, take heart: This may well be their death rattle. Transgendermania is dying. But it’s not going down without a fight. They’re beginning to lose them, though The times they are a changin’. Most of us, liberal or conservative, don’t care how others live their lives as long as they respect others’ boundaries. Progressives wouldn’t draw them, so now the rest of us are. The pink-and-blue flag crew’s losses are racking up. For starters, transgender as an identity has been losing steam for the last few years. According to a new report by Canadian Politics professor Eric Kauffman and director of the Centre for Heterodox Social Science , there’s been a precipitous drop in identification as ‘trans’ or ‘queer’ in Gen Z since 2023, from 6.8% to 3.6% as of 2025. The Day of Wreckening came with the reinstatement of Donald Trump last January. Love him or hate him, his election marked a blessed and long-needed death knell for a movement that just didn’t know when to quit. He ended male athletes competing on women’s sports teams (one of Kamala Harris’s most unpopular positions), he redefined biological sex (correctly); he reassigned ‘trans’-upon-conviction men back to male prisons; re-allowed single-sex emergency shelters to reject biological male ‘trans’ people from female-only facilities; and defunded transgender health initiatives for children, along with raising the age of consent to 19 for anything from puberty blockers to surgery. ‘Trans rights’ has lost several court cases in the last few years, and especially the beginning of this one. The losses include the Skrmetti decision last year, in which the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a Tennessee law banning puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones for minors. Several state bans on restricting or banning gender markers on official documents have been upheld, and a Kansas ‘bathroom bill’ to force transgender people to use the bathrooms and locker rooms of their conception sex was vetoed by the governor but defeated by overriding Republican lawmakers. It’s important to note there are no cases of trans-identified men being attacked in men’s rooms, but plenty of bad-boyism among TiMs in ladyspaces. If I’m wrong about cis attacks on trans dudes, comment below or DM me here. Twenty-twenty-six began with the first successful detransition lawsuit against medical doctors accused of malpractice. Fox Varian was awarded $2 million in the State of New York for her double mastectomy at 16, after which she came to regret her decision once she no longer identified as male. Close to thirty other lawsuits around the U.S. are in progress. Perhaps not so coincidentally, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, just a week later, issued a brand-new guideline for medical practitioners and and teenage patients: that all surgical interventions be postponed until age 19. I wonder why they waited until now to say so? And, speaking of lawsuits, the State of Florida has launched three : Against the activist WPATH, the American Endocrine Society, and the American Academy of Pediatrics for engaging in a ‘coordinated campaign’ to develop clinical guidelines for demonstrably harmful treatments of children for which there is little to no scientific evidence—a finding that had been well-documented for years. At the same time, the FTC is investigating the three for alleged ‘false or unsubstantiated claims’ and whether the guidelines of each of these groups constitute ‘unfair or deceptive practices.’ The Horrifying WPATH Documents Leak Details Appalling ‘Gender Affirming Care’ Malpractice Mr. & Mrs. Darling Transgenderism is the ultimate denial of reality: To be human meant to pass through puberty, and the only way to avoid it was to die young. Telling children they have a ‘right’ to not go through puberty, as transactivist whack job Andrew Chu has assured them, or that they were ‘born in the wrong body’, are dirty lies discouraging immature, half-formed humans to reject their healthy bodies and live in psychological and physical torment for the rest of their (presumably) long, but now potentially shorter, lives . Transactivists, educators, therapists, medical practitioners, and even ‘science’ magazines have been pushing these filthy falsehoods for nearly a generation. Telling children they can avoid adulthood speaks to an unacknowledged but fundamental psychic problem not with children, but with their parents primarily on the progressive left: A longing to return to childhood. Perhaps it was the ruminative pining of Mr. and Mrs. Darling, the parents of Michael, John and Wendy, to give their children a Never-Never-Land where no one ever has to assume the mantle of responsibility for themselves and others. How conveniently the Mr. & Mrs. forgot how managed their lives once were by adults, exemplified by compulsory school, when every child’s fondest wish was to ‘get big’ as soon as possible so they didn’t have to do what they were told. Unless they were paid to do it with a job. In contrast to every generation until the Millennials, growing up was long-anticipated by children eager to manage their own adult lives. But progressive parents sundered that by teaching them they need never experience a negative feeling, that each child knew what was best for themselves and that their safety was so paramount they mustn’t do anything to endanger that. Best to stay home, therefore, than to risk living in reality like an adult. Along came the ‘self-esteem’ movement in which every child got a trophy for minor transactions simply expected of children from previous generations, led by Progressive Parenting for whom No was the dirtiest word in the English language. So when their children expressed a desire to be what they weren’t, progressive parents naturally said, “Of course, honey.” For some it was even a status symbol. Transgenderism is arguably the most deeply damaging Bad Idea to come out of the progressive movement this century. It’s the most inauthentic social movement ever, denying the fundamental reality of organic life. It’s never been about ‘gender dysphoria’; it’s a transhumanist social justice project that attempted to bring equity to the sexes by, ironically, embracing traditional conservative gender stereotypes before erasing them. A rock might as well identify as a tree. The Rise Of Unhappy ‘Trans Kids’ And The Role Of Progressive Parenting A Dude-y Transactivist Shows How Dangerously Dudeist The Trans Nuts Are Transgenderism 2.0 That said, sex-changing will never go away, nor need it. I’ve argued that transgenderism, in addition to providing genuine relief for that tiny slice of humanity that genuinely needs it, could also be a force for real change as I argued a few years ago in What If The Transgender Movement Evolved More Honestly? What it offered was what humanity most desperately needs right now—an ‘under the skin’ game in which we learn what life is like for others, whom we aren’t. The Transfolk Who Really Do Need Our Support (about Aaron Kimberly) I’ve argued similarly in We Accept Transgenderism. Are We Ready For Transracialism? Why not experience life as a woman, when you were born male, or black if you were born white? Or the reverse? I theorize how. I know cross-racialism is primarily a white female thing, and ‘female Pretendians’ abound. (Are there even any genuine Indigenous anymore?) I know most of these people traverse boundaries for the wrong reasons, and I understand why various races or ethnic groups object. They’re the same reasons defenders of womanhood offer as objections to transgenderism. But what if people crossed sex and race for better reasons? The left has primarily been misappropriating sex and race mostly to qualify for membership in victimhood clubs. If a young woman feels guilty about being born white, as the left is wont to do, she may well de-whitenize herself. If a man feels like women can have sex with anyone they want, to the point where the girls turn their genitals into a ‘roastie’, then becoming a woman might seem the ticket to endless sex. Or simply to stop being lambasted for being born the way he was. If we turned the narrative from victimhood to inquiry, the reasons for ‘crossing the border’ might well change. For the better. If we encouraged people to be true to themselves, to be who they really were instead of wishing for whatever they weren’t born with, we’d create happier, more self-actualized human beings who could continue to progress humanity and fix our sick society rather than change one’s sex, and commit suicide anyway , because it didn’t solve all their problems. Like, you know, Jesse Van Rootselaar. Transgenderism is sometimes nihilistic, but so are many non-trans. Change is good, necessary, and even unavoidable, but conscious change should be for the right reasons. I honestly don’t want transgenderism to disappear. I merely want it to grow up. And to stop hurting people. I welcome today’s death rattle. Did you like this post? Do you want to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter  Grow Some Labia  so you never miss a damn thing! There are also Substack  and Spotify  podcasts of more recent articles!

Don't BE The Victim Take back your power and get off (or avoid) what relationship counselor, TED talker and author Dina McMillan calls 'the hamster wheel' of abusive relationships. Recognize you now have choices, and resolve to make more informed ones. If more women stood up to toxic masculinity and refused them entry into their lives, or booted them out early, abusive men would be forced to shape up or jack off. Every abuser an incel! Dina McMillan's book "But He Says He Loves Me: How to Avoid Being Trapped in a Manipulative Relationship" offers rock-solid advice on how abusive men think and strategize, and how to avoid them. If you read no other book your entire life on abuse and men, read THIS one. McMillan claims she can teach women and young girls to avoid a lifetime of abuse in two hours, and she's not kidding. Dina McMillan's Book Review How To Not Get Abused It really is a lot simpler than most women think. Don't allow these guys into your life in the first place. Don't let them back. The first time he hits you must be the last. Click here to see my advice and education think pieces. Oct 12, 2024 A Frenchwoman Is Dead Serious About Holding ALL Her Rapists Accountable The Gisele Pelicot case highlights just how frighteningly high is the number of 'normal' men who have a penchant for, and might be... Jul 31, 2024 The 'Sheila Agreement': How To Manage Conflict Like Big Girls (And Boys) An ex-friend pulled a Mean Girl on both myself and another friend, so we devised a way to avoid hurt feelings with better conflict... May 21, 2024 Bitch: When I Was The Abuser (Part II) It takes two for an abusive relationship. Because an abuser can't abuse a person who isn't there. This is Part II. Bitch: When I Was The... Apr 29, 2024 What Both Women & Men Can Learn From The Sordid Andrew Huberman Affair(s) He was good at playing women, but he offers further lessons on red flag recognition, as well as a helpful lesson for single men who don't... Apr 6, 2024 How I Grew a Pair (Of Labia) And Left An Abusive Marriage: Guest Post Part I Persephone Phoenix shares how women need to follow their own hero cycle. 'You go through hell and you triumph in the end. No one will... Nov 11, 2023 Pat Benatar Was A Better Listen In The '80s Than Whitney Houston The content we consume normalizes values and beliefs in our brains in ways we don't even know, whether good or bad. Thank Goddess I... How To Not Get Abused BOOKS I RECOMMEND FOR Avoiding Abusive Relationships I've found five stellar resources to help women identify their psychological weaknesses and inoculate themselves against the sort of toxic man who manipulates and abuses, but also to better understand men and thereby become better partners themselves. After all, she may be no walk in the park either. Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair This is the antidote to Generation Snowflake and everything 'woke'! Schulman dives into the modern-day confliation of conflict or disagreement with abuse and explores the way misstating conflict and overstating harm hurts the individuals involved and further divides the society. Read this before you venture onto Facebook or Twitter! More Info Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men A male therapist who works with couples in abusive marriages details the roots and core of entrenched male misogyny and exactly how these men's minds work. Read this and you'll have a far more informed understanding of how you're not likely to ever change him, and how these manipulators can fool even trained psychologists and therapists to believe they've changed when they haven't. I can't recommend this book enough to women in abusive relationships or who want to avoid them. More Info The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society Of Pickup Artists - Neil Strauss (My Review) The best psychological analysis of the female mind and its many weaknesses was written, believe it or not, by a former Pickup Artist. The short bald average-looking author became a pickup artists of southern California's hottest women and details the secrets of his success--not to brag but to show women how easy they are to 'play'. Controversial when it was published in 2004, feminists condemned it for the PUAs' poor treatment of women, but Strauss came to regret his life and shows us the uglier aspects from the men's side too--including a friend who suffered an emotional breakdown and men unprepared for adult, functional relationships once they outgrew the desire to sleep around. There are no better experts in exploiting women's psychology for their advantage than the men in this book, and it's inadvertantly a handbook for women to avoid manipulative sexual predators. Strauss has since given up the PUA lifestyle and is married with children. More Info What Was He Thinking?: The Woman's Guide to a Man's Mind Another great book on how men's mind's work, but in general, not from an abuse standpoint. Sometimes bad relationships happen because the woman is dysfunctional too, or simply doesn't understand that while men's minds work differently, that doesn't necessarily mean wrongly or manipulatively. We just don't process information the same way, and this book teaches women what's good about men's minds. Bechtle is a Christian writer and doctor but I only learned that many years later. You can't tell from this book. More Info Emotional Intelligence 2.0 This is a book for all of us! Did you know only 15% of us are actually emotionally intelligent? Oh, don't look so smug, almost everyone overestimates how EI they actually are! It's also a bit of a workbook too. More Info Substack Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER for all my latest on power feminism, reclaiming your power, and the ongoing culture wars. Visit Substack >> Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER

"GROW A PAIR" That's what we say to men when we think they're acting weak. "Grow some balls!" So what do we say when women are acting weak? We can't very well tell them to grow some balls. Women can't, of course! Women need to 'grow some labia'! They're the parts of the vagina that would have become the scrotum for the balls had she been born a male instead (and since she didn't, what would have been her balls are her ovaries). But I doubt you came here for a female anatomy lesson. It's time for us to grow some labia and woman up, show more strength, challenge ourselves more. Time to take more charge and responsibility for our lives, and spend less time blaming 'The Patriarchy' or systemic sexism. Those things exist, for sure, but at some point we've got to recognize the buck stops with the woman in the mirror and we need to claim our power (or reclaim it if we gave it away somehow!) So it's time for women everywhere to GROW SOME LABIA! I've written a few blog posts about how we can do exactly that and reclaim our power! Feminism The differences between victim feminism, which sees women as chronically aggrieved and victimized by men and 'The Patriarchy', and power feminism, which is more focused on one's self, achieving and claiming personal power and using it for the betterment of others. Dec 21, 2024 The Transfolk Who Really Do Need Our Support The experience of 'The Bearded Lesbian' reminds us some folks really do need to transition; and how LGBTQ can fail them I began following... Dec 5, 2024 American Feminists Don't Need A 4B Movement The South Korean feminism project will be dead in the water. Like it or not, we need men, and they need us. Maybe we just need to reform... Nov 24, 2024 Emma Watson, Emma Watson, Wherefore Art Thou, Emma Watson? The foxy fauxminist has gone missing in recent years. No movies. No fauxminist outbursts. Not even any trans love tweeted. I... Nov 17, 2024 Progressive Democrats Hate Women More Than The Right. Especially Feminists. Right-wing misogyny isn't How The Left Was Lost. It was women's, the primary administrators and executors of patriarchy and misogyny. The... Oct 12, 2024 A Frenchwoman Is Dead Serious About Holding ALL Her Rapists Accountable The Gisele Pelicot case highlights just how frighteningly high is the number of 'normal' men who have a penchant for, and might be... Sep 14, 2024 Let's Have A Grownup Talk About Privilege - With Curiosity Rather Than Outrage It's real. It's worth exploring even for the UnWoke. Its purpose is to open our own eyes rather than beat up others (and ourselves) over... Feminism Substack Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER for all my latest on power feminism, reclaiming your power, and the ongoing culture wars. Visit Substack >> Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER

WELCOME TO MY WEBSITE ABOUT POWER Big Girls Don't Blame The Patriarchy Explore The Blog LABIA POWER! About Me Grow Some Labia! is written by a liberal, feminist writer and social justice critic who teaches women and others how to reclaim their power and avoid partner abuse. She also candidly critiques far-left, progressive/woke/ social justice extremism. It's a place for people who lean left or right, but not so far their brains fall out. GSL's work can be found here and on Substack, Quora. And maybe a few other places. About Me The Latest From My Labia Power! Blog 5 days ago Daniel Penny: The Hero That Wasn't "He scared the living daylights out of everybody." The woke left damns Daniel Penny for trying to save others from a clearly disturbed... Jan 4 We Have To Think About Moderating X, Bluesky And Other Social Media The anoymous psychos who call for others' assassinations are a direct threat to democracy and public safety. Threats are NOT free speech.... Jan 1 Here Comes The 'Woke Right' And It Looks A Helluva Lot Like The Woke Left Brand-new management, same as the last! But the bipartisan UnWoke have the recent accumulated observation to help call out the... Dec 25, 2024 Roman Holiday - A Christmas Story Oh no! Not another Messiah! CC0 public domain Just what we need. Another bloody Messiah. The name’s Flatulous. I’m a Roman soldier in... Dec 21, 2024 The Transfolk Who Really Do Need Our Support The experience of 'The Bearded Lesbian' reminds us some folks really do need to transition; and how LGBTQ can fail them I began following... Dec 14, 2024 Is There Any Real Joy In Learning Anymore? Can students even experience learning something intriguing or unexpected? Or are they only told what to think? "Just kill me now!"... Explore The Blog DON'T BE THE VICTIM Take back your power. NOW. It started with abused women who didn't know they could say No to abuse. It morphed into taking back your power from political bullies and haters, including 'social justice warriors'. Don't Be The Victim GROW SOME LABIA "Grow a pair!" That's what we say to men when we think they're acting weak. "Grow some balls!" So what do we say when women are acting weak? We can't very well tell them to grow some balls. Women can't, of course! Women need to 'grow some labia'! Grow Some Labia I also take on the crazies from the right and the left. Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER