While the world scrolls toward despair, I’m sleeping with dead presidents and Nazi children. Here’s why you should join the insurgency. Image by Thought Catalog from Pixabay Last year on the subway I was reading The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. I held the ‘Okay grandma’ large clunky hardback edition. I noticed the young man opposite was looking at the cover. He looked exactly the age of its subjects, Gen Z. He stared, eyebrows slightly knit. I smiled behind my book, hoping my subversive declaration of intellectual sovereignty encouraged him to read it. (You may owe me a beer, Jonathan Haidt!) Support Local Bookstores: You can find the titles mentioned in this post on my Grow Some Labia page. Every purchase supports independent booksellers (and this newsletter!). The beauty of reading dead-tree books in public is so others can see what you’re reading. My titles alone will make the woke-comfortable squirm, and perhaps encourage the Silent Exhausted Majority to track them down. It sends a message from The Cognitive Resistance: I’m not a mindless consumer of the Attention Economy. I read books that challenge me, that require more than 5-10 seconds of attention. Even when I’m reading an e-book, you can tell I’m not doomscrolling: I stare and swipe. My thumb isn’t in constant motion. Reading isn’t just a hobby, it’s a rebellious act of intellectual sovereignty. The “Pro-Vaxxer” of the Mind I have a greater immunity to anxiety, outrage, and Trump Derangement Syndrome than the Doomscrollers of Despair I wrote about last year. I read. A lot. I read hundreds of Substack’s long-form essays and bang through 12-15 books annually. When I was in college I counted 70 books in one year, only a fraction of which were required, and I did read those, except Anna Karenina which was simply too unfocused and boring. Doomscrolling-filtered, highly biased, questionably- or badly-sourced ‘information’ has led us to where we are: Everyone hates each other, it’s okay to murder your enemies; we’re not having sex; we scream about billionaires after putting a billionaire retarded toddler back in charge of the most powerful country in the world, and no one in America thinks it’s their fault. As if the manchild and the knuckle-draggers in Congress just wandered in and took those chairs. I view politics as surmountable, rather than insurmountable problems because I read. Books are like drugs or The Force: They can be used for good or evil. Subvert the dominant paradigm! Embrace cognitive liberty! Weaponize your brain against the Agents of Algorithms, for whom it’s in their best interests to keep you scrolling, outraged, and dangerously stupid. Treat books not as an escape—eventually you have to sober up, or stop to make dinner, where reality awaits—but as an escape from The Mucktrix. Because when you finish a good book or a really killer longform essay, you feel better. More empowered. Even if all you scroll is silly animal videos and people making cooking mistakes, it’s harmless, but then you realized you pissed three hours away. At worst, you want to kill yourself or someone else—maybe both. When I finish a book, or an idea-packed longform essay, I feel like I’ve accomplished something. I feel better about myself. I feel smarter. I’m a reading pro-vaxxer! I believe everyone should vaccinate themselves against the Despots of Doom by refusing to consume their mental garbage. But I wouldn’t, like, force you into a library and chain you to a chair in front of an open book. I’m not a booknazi. I know. You ‘can’t focus’ long enough to read a book. Bear with me. The dangerous people I’m sleeping with (Ha! You kept reading because of that provocative subtitle!) I just started sleeping with Matt Ridley. (Don’t tell his wife! In fact, don’t tell him!) He’s the author of The Evolution of Everything: How New Ideas Emerge. His book makes me think, to see past, present, and future slightly differently. Here’s something creepy: I’ll be sleeping with Hitler’s children after I’ve had my way with Matt and tossed him on my Mighty Bookshelf O’ Subversion. I know, Hitler thankfully blew himself off this mortal coil without leaving any bad seed behind. Hitler’s Children is a book by Gerald Posner detailing the children and grandchildren of leading Nazi figures, including how they dealt with their ancestral legacies. And after that? I’ll be sleeping with a DEAD GUY! Thomas Jefferson! I slept with his dead friend last year, Benjamin Franklin. It was electric! (Ar ar!) I read in bed, obviously. Just before lights out and, in the morning before breakfast, on the weekends. And always on the subway! Heaven! Reading is for rebels, not for bland conformists who believe everything their algos tell them to. It’s taking the time to sit down and focus for more than a few seconds and think about what you’re absorbing. It sometimes takes me a long time to get through a normal-length book because it makes me think so much I have to stop and think some more. Or I put it down to Google questions it just brought up. James Lindsay’s and Helen Pluckrose’s book Cynical Theories: How Activist Scholarship Made Everything about Race, Gender, and Identity―and Why This Harms Everybody was one of them. So was Becoming a few years ago when I was sleeping with Michelle Obama. (Yes, I’m bitextual!) Heterodox thinking is badass. I want to better understand the people I don’t like (wokies, Trumpies, Islamofascists, etc.) as well as ask other points of view. I started subscribing to the right-leaning The Bulwark a few months ago, and found that the conservative columnist Mona Charen, who I hated with every fiber of my being thirty-five years ago, is now my sister-in arms against crazy Trumpism! Intellectual sovereignty means asking yourself what those people you hate the most believe in, and why. It teaches me not to ass-u-me I already know. Heterodox thinking is the most effective reduction in Attention Economy-induced negative outlook. When you look for or listen to other viewpoints, you often get a takeaway or two even if you still don’t agree with the thesis. Viewpoint diversity is The Rebellion. It’s digital inoculation against nihilistic extremism. An hour before I sat down to begin banging out this article, I read one by Eva Kurilova, Contending With The Dark Nights Of The Soul. She pours out the dark stretches of depression plaguing her life, and how she found respite in books. I’m a ‘Five Percenter!’ Here’s something interesting: When I asked Google Gemini what percentage of Substackers actively write, it claimed roughly 5% or less were active publishers. Further, that 44% of publishers ‘ghost out’ after three posts, never publishing again. It also claims many joined for Notes, possibly as an alternative to X and Bluesky, the respective right-wing and left-wing shitholes of humanity. When I asked (because I know you will, you little heterodox insurgent!) where Gemini got its information, it responded, “…by triangulating current platform data (April 2026), industry reports from analysts like Backlinko and Exploding Topics, and Substack’s own growth updates for the first quarter of 2026.” You join Substack for two reasons: Either you love to read, love to write, or both. Substack, with its allergy to censorship, supports others who also subvert the dominant paradigm. Substack is the ‘Tactile Tap’. Social media is the ‘Infinite Scroll’. One is a treadmill, the other a destination. Treadmills are better for building bodies rather than minds. Soul Therapy: Beyond the “Woke” Filter I don’t read much fiction, and when I do, it’s older. Today’s pap is too ‘woke’ and ‘preachy’. Or just—not really good. I bought a novel last year on a lark about a house sort of haunted by puppets and the brother and sister inheriting it who’ve never gotten along. It was—okay. But not very fulfilling. At least it didn’t tell me how to think or feel about Indigenous, Pride, racial, gender, or other political issues. The back cover blurb made it clear what to expect, which few books I pick up in a bookstore can. “K’taelrylny-thyn, the stunning pseudointrapolyhedrasexual with creative pronouns to match every single permutation of feeling ghi has,” invokes a gravity attack that lands it back on the table. I read almost entirely non-fiction. I keep a ‘wish list’ on Amazon, but I buy locally. Heads up: “King Dork” is one of the funniest novels I’ve ever read. If you lived through the ‘80s, and especially if you were or knew a bullied teenage boy who dreamed with his equally dorky friend of becoming a rock star, this is the novel for you! Bonus: It makes wicked fun of Catcher in the Rye if, like me, you don’t get what the big deal is about it. And yes, that’s an old Kobo reader. Not to mention an appalling collection of shot glasses. I read to inoculate myself against my own brain. I keep up on the news, without falling into the dirty laundry basket. I read outside the idiot box. Idle, unchallenged neural synapses are the devil’s workshop. The Sovereignty Protocol (How to Take Back Your Power and Start A Revolution) If you have trouble focusing, remember: You’ve been trained not to. The Mucktrix abhors People Who Concentrate. If you’re not used to reading books, start slowly. Find an interesting book and commit to reading five minutes a day, at minimum. Or, if it has short chapters, one daily. If the book is boring, drop it. Find another. When you find one you like, read for five minutes or until you get fatigued. (Training fiction: James Patterson’s books are super-popular with extremely short chapters.) Then, read in public. Send the silent signal: I’m not one of The Scrollzombies. I think for myself! Embrace heterodox thinking: Read books that challenge you. Not simply ‘books that make you angry’. Those are for advanced readers who’ve built up resistance to outrage. If you’re on the left, read something a little right-wing, and vice versa. ‘Extremist’ books aren’t useful unless you’re trying to understand extremists (a laudable goal!) A really terrific book, in my opinion, is Jonathan Haidt’s The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion. (Two beers, Jon!) There’s plenty of well-researched, well-written food for thought no matter where you fall on the political spectrum. I promise you, you won’t hate ‘the other side’ as much as you did before, and you will notice a reduction in anger. If you can keep your head when all about youAre losing theirs and blaming it on you,If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,But make allowance for their doubting too;If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise…- Rudyard Kipling, ‘If’, courtesy of The Poetry Foundation Read. A. Book. Did you like this post? Do you want to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter Grow Some Labia so you never miss a damn thing! There are also Substack and Spotify podcasts of more recent articles!

There's a strong connection between suspiciously neurodivergent 'strange kids' in the 2000s' 'Indigo' mini-craze, and today's trans kids driven by parental status-seeking The beautiful white Star Children will lead us into a harmonic New Age. Or not. Pixabay public domain image by cocoparisienne If you were old enough in the ‘90s and ‘00s, when ‘progressive’ was still a respectable rebrand for ‘liberal’, you might remember the ‘Indigo children’ phenomenon. Especially if you were into alternative spritituality, like Paganism or the New Age. The Indigo concept is one chapter in the history of New Age parenting labels that entered the public eye via a whisper rather than a roar with the publication of a book by a self-described ‘synesthete’, one who claimed she could see peoples’ ‘colors’ via their auras. She claimed she’d begun seeing indigo hues around certain children. But two later authors, citing her initial observations, turned Indigoism into a late-stage New Age craze: 1999’s The Indigo Children: The New Kids Have Arrived by Lee Carroll and Jan Tober. Support Local Bookstores: You can find the titles mentioned in this post on my Grow Some Labia page. Every purchase supports independent booksellers (and this newsletter!). Amazing psychic abilities were attributed to these supposed ‘star children’, including a more deeply empathic feeling for others; they were said to be especially strong-willed; possessed a high IQ, had particularly intuitive senses, were viewed by others as fairly odd and, my personal favorite, possessed a strong feeling of entitlement and a resistance to authority. The culture arose, perhaps not-so-coincidentally, during the Millennial generation and progressive laissez-faire parenting techniques including an unwillingness to discipline or even say no to their children. ‘Crystal children’ and ‘Rainbow children’ soon followed, the post-Indigo ‘generations’. Believers attributed to these wunderkind telepathic, clairvoyant, and other psychic powers along with boundless optimism and lovingkindness. These ‘special kids’ exhibited certain behaviors: Creative but easily frustrated, delayed speech development, fearlessness; high-energy; optimistic. Claiming one of these children conferred special status in progressive/New Age communities. Pagan author Lorna Tedder claimed that practically every Pagan woman she knew who’d had a child or was expecting a child claimed it was an Indigo. Later ‘generations’, the Starseeds and the Diamond/Golden Others, embraced any child whose parents felt the desire for ‘special’ children. According to one uncritical website, “Indigo children can sometimes find it difficult to integrate into mainstream society, which leads to them being misunderstood, rejected, or misdiagnosed.” Misdiagnosed, indeed. Or, what we could today call ‘neurodiversity.’ The new ‘special children’ “There’s a terrifying conclusion for parents who were wrong: Indescribable psychic pain realizing they allowed their child to harm themselves.” Anyone who has followed the rise and current decline of the kiddie transgenderism craze recognizes the patterns: The status gain and ‘coolness’ factor of having a kid who’s different, outside the mainstream, completely misunderstood, ergo superior to your boring little not-above-average conformist. Instead of ushering in a peaceful New Age of Humanity (how’s that working out so far, Indigos?), ‘trans children’ were expected to usher in a new era of equality, with the smashing of gender stereotypes and the erasure of what they claimed was a ‘human construct’, biological sex. ‘Indigo children’ were said to possess an innate, pure, spiritual truth; ‘trans children’ are believed to possess a similar infallible ‘inner knowledge’. Both movements deify the child’s “inner truth.” They’re ‘aura’ and ‘gender’ become metaphysical. What connects the two cultures most closely is the chronic parental fear of having an ‘average’ child, or worse, one with diagnosed developmental challenges. Many parents from the ‘Indigo Age’ rejected diagnoses that their child had ADHD or a higher seat on the autism spectrum. Recognizing what wasn’t as well-understood thirty years ago hasn’t diminished the Indigo movement; neurodiversity has been incorporated into the spiritual belief system without rejecting the galactic fluff. It may be more difficult, though, for today’s parents of trans kids to do the same. They’ve argued the science is on their side from the beginning, yet now we know it’s not: The earliest ‘science’ was based on an admittedly flawed Dutch study and it’s been established for decades that most ‘gender dysphoric’ kids are gay. Evidence-based critiques of gender-affirming care, numerous global systematic evidence reviews, and especially the UK’s comprehensive Cass Review have all but debunked the transactivist claims to science. The trans True Believers more closely resemble Christian Creationists, clinging like barnacles to their cherished belief system. There’s a terrifying conclusion for parents with a ‘trans child’ they supported who now may be experiencing regret or real anguish: Indescribable psychic pain realizing they allowed their child to harm themselves—and that the gender critical, especially conservatives, who fought it all along, were right. Ironically, Indigoism, however quieter, survived to the modern day because its fundamental strength was faith. The lesson for social justice is that basing it in ‘science’ invites destruction. Plus, no one wants to give up the status in their social bubble. How LGB got their groove back: Welcoming T It’s cooler to be ‘trans’ than, frankly, boring old gay. It manifested in Hollywood, where actors and actresses, after years or decades of success, suddenly announced they were gay, to much media fanfare. Oh, how brave they are to come out in this homophobic world! But the attention began to peter out, especially after gay marriage’s 2015 Supreme Court decision, which ruled the Fourteenth Amendment’s due process and equal protection clauses guaranteed same-sex couples the right to marry and be recognized in all fifty states. With one Supreme Court decision, homosexuality suddenly lost its ‘cool’. Gay married couples proliferated, and homosexuality mainstreamed, about as comment-worthy as last night’s TV dinner. Hollywood, always ready to infect themselves with the latest cultural contagion, applauded actors who ‘came out’ as as ‘trans’ rather than gay. Like Chaz Bono, who us Boomers and Xers remember as Chastity on her parents’ 1970s TV show; Eliot Page, née actress Ellen Page; The Matrix’s Lana Wachowski and Orange Is The New Black’s Laverne Cox. Celebrity influence pioneered childhood gender identity emerging with those who became famous by transitioning: Jazz Jennings, whose mother is widely believe to have pushed her son into it; Shiloh Jolie; and proud (i.e.: Cooler than you) Hollywood ‘trans parents’ Naomi Watts, Robert DeNiro, Jennifer Lopez and Jamie Lee Curtis. Later, Bruce Jenner cemented the ‘coolness factor’ by ‘coming out’ as trans in 2015, advertising for the medical profession by appearing on the covers of Vanity Fair and Sports Illustrated. Alongside the adult influencers, the notion that children were ‘born in the wrong body’, particularly if they were embarrassingly effeminate or butch, gained traction with anxious progressive (and possibly homophobic) parents who ignored the long-established traits of likely incipient gay children to hie them off to the doctor to be ‘normalized’. They called it ‘gender-affirming care’ rather than what it was: ‘gay conversion therapy’. Virtue signaling and the parental status marker race ‘Indigo children’ were said to possess an innate, pure, spiritual truth; ‘trans children’ are believed to possess an innate ‘inner truth’ transcending parental assertion. Parents have always been in competition with each other, to have the smartest, brightest, fastest-developing, fastest-growing, superlatively excellent child. My next-door neighbor playmate was born three months after myself. When my mother reported to Benny’s mother that I had said my first word (on average, around 12 months), Mom heard the husband through an open window coaching his son to ‘Say Dada! Say Dada!” In the first year, infants develop at incredible speed but they have to master one skill before the next. They begin grasping toys around five weeks; they can (but don’t always) stop sleeping through the night around three months; begin eating solid food at six months; teethe at seven. At nine months, most babies can only babble, although a few can manage a ‘mama’ or ‘dada’. If one’s baby is developing later, and parenting anxieties set in, it becomes easier to rationalize one’s seemingly underachieving infant as an advanced, enlightened being. Hence the appeal of the Indigo and trans child with varying personality quirks, neurodiversity, or homosexuality, or who were simply victims of overly-permissive parenting. Like ‘entitlement.’ The culture of the ‘trans child’ confers greater physical ‘proof’ that one’s child is ‘exceptional’. By delaying puberty, administering cross-sex hormones, and letting kids live as cross-sex or who-the-fuck-knows, one’s child is ‘taking charge’ of their life and not ‘consenting’ to puberty ‘just happening’ when they haven’t made up their mind (or maybe they have) which sex they ‘choose’ to be. ‘Trans children’ often enjoy increased popularity in school and an end to bullying; it’s cooler to be a ‘trans boy’ than a lesbian girl. Affirming parents receive kudos and kowtowing as they virtue-signal how wonderfully tolerant and affirmative they are. A commenter on my recent article The Beginning Of The End Of Transgendermania told the anecdote of a woman she complimented on her tote bag who lit up and exclaimed, “My daughter is trans, and I'm just so proud to represent her anywhere I go,” to which another mother responded, “Congratulations!” Tote Bag Mom telegraphs how more hep she is than all those other unlucky moms and dads with gay kids who may yet grow up to give them grandchildren, because Mom and Dad affirmed their budding homosexuality rather than trying to ‘fix’ them. My child is more special than your boring happy-in-her-own-skin daughter or your embarrasingly heterosexual son who brought a girl to the prom. From vanishing labels to irreversible damage The tragic difference between ‘Indigo children’ and ‘trans children’ is that once they grew up and had to confront their own mediocrity, the former weren’t left permanently damaged, especially if they decided they didn’t want to be known as an Indigo any longer; they simply abandoned the label and perhaps chose not to speak of it further. All of this, for the eternal parental status marker race. Trans kids, on the other hand, are left with permanent scars and irreversible damage. Substack’s Aaron Kimberly detransitioned from lesbian to male and back again, only to find himself permanently looking and sounding like a man, and ostracized from the lesbian community (I had no idea just how brutal lesbians could be against those who leave the fold.) Today he’s chosen, mostly out of fatigue it seems, living as a man. (To be fair, he was in his thirties when he began). As detransition lawsuits wind through the courts and the frankly sensible Trump administration (on this issue, anyway) rolls back the special rights lobbied for by mostly transgender biological males, the glitter falls off the trans train, transgenderism loses its coolness factor and the pride of being a ‘trans parent’ may quickly turn dangerous. But humanity being what it is, an eternally status-seeking animal forever in pursuit of ‘better than thou’, it’s highly unlikely the lesson drawn will be, “Be grateful for your healthy, normal child,” with some new fad to latch onto to ‘prove’ one’s child is the future of humanity, and yours is a retro ‘average’ loser. At least until the regret sets in. Did you like this post? Do you want to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter Grow Some Labia so you never miss a damn thing! There are also Substack and Spotify podcasts of more recent articles!

These simple rules will dramatically improve your odds (and save you from unnecessary rejection) CC Image from tao alexis on Wikimedia Commons In this guide, you’ll learn: The 33-Minute Rule: Why your appearance is your best “opening line.” Reading the Room: How to spot facial cues and “stop signs” before you say a word. The Exit Strategy: How to handle rejection (or “drama queens”) with your dignity intact. I don’t fault a guy for trying. Last summer a man ran across the street to catch up with me. I cut to the quick— “If you’re hoping for a date, I’m seeing someone.” His face fell and I added, as I often do, “I think it’s great that you took the initiative to do what you did. It’s flattering. I hope you’re more successful next time. Keep trying!” He saves face, he receives honest praise from someone who just rejected him, and encouragement. His timing was terrible, not his fault: I was on my lunchtime break, and had less than ten minutes to get back to my desk. I hate making snap decisions. If I have to, and these guys always force me, the answer is invariably NO. He was too young for one thing, and, I’ll be honest, clearly from a culture with famously limited romantic skills. Mostly, I’m skeptical of younger men because they’re never looking for a relationship—with me. Had I had a little extra time, I might have chatted for a bit. Women need to get to know you first. This is a major reason why the ‘cold approach’ often fails. But first, let’s start with a dating etiquette baseline for gentlemen wanting to approach strangers they find attractive. You’re not a bad guy for trying to get a date The universal, organic truth about life: It exists to mindlessly perpetuate more life. Unicellular organisms and bacteria split themselves. The other 99% of life on earth is male and female, sometimes hermaphroditic, but always designed to perpetuate life. Males and females, in the flush of youth, are designed to dig each other, and to hook up, fall in love, and make babies. The traditional rules and guidelines may be supremely messed up right now, but heterosexuality persists. For those of you who aren’t hetero, it’s okay, you’re outliers. The human race won’t die out. Don’t listen to J.D. Vance. Life has only one objective, and it doesn’t care about your identity or your politics. Now, let’s talk about you, Hot Stuff! The only two things that actually matter The gentleman who sprinted through traffic sure got one thing right: He was dressed decently, in office clothes. Celeste Davis put it succinctly in her excellent Substack article about why dating is so hard, especially for men who, she argues, backed up by a lot of research, need women more than women need men, and always have. Women spend an average of 33 more minutes per day than men each day on their appearance. But given who should be trying to impress who more, it should be just the opposite. Men should be the ones who take an hour pruning, shaving and beautifying before dates while women should be the ones rolling out of bed a few minutes before. First lesson: Look better Cold approach: This is critical. Work with what you’ve got, even if you’re average-looking. Dress decently, stylishly (for yourself!), get a flattering haircut. Never be the least attractive guy in the room. First impressions matter. This is something I will probably have to repeat until the end of time, even though it’s an easy hack, since most men will never do it. Once you’ve stopped looking like every other faceless Average Joe, there are strategic ways to approach women you’d like to get to know with reduced drama risk. Second lesson: Be aware You must pay attention to social cues. What’s she doing? If she’s scrolling her phone, she’ll likely be less amenable to an intrusion. Is she facing away from others even if not on her phone? Also not an open sign. Is she wearing earbuds? If she removes one and listens to you, move forward. If she brushes you off, move on. Does she look like she’s in a good mood? If she’s frowning or pissed off, don’t approach. Ergo: Pay attention to facial cues You seek that quick smile of unconscious recognition when she first glances at you that she finds you attractive in some way, but don’t fret if you don’t get. It’s why you need to look better. Since Average Joes would be hard to pick out of a police lineup, a fleeting smile leaps the first hurdle. But, she may have a partner already, or she’s not on the market for some other reason. It’s not a stop sign. Try chatting with her anyway, because The Smile might come shortly. Don’t spend too much time if she’s only being polite or exhibits signs of annoyance or discomfort; move on. Now: How to chat her up without blowing it Start a conversation. You won’t always be successful, even if it sounds natural, as it must. It may be difficult, given the environment. Pay attention to facial and social cues. Last year a guy approached me commenting, “Hey, I like your sunglasses!” Lucky for him, I was trying to meet guys with my wild ‘n’ crazy conversation starter. Also, he was cute. If he’d looked like Mr. Blends-Into-The-Woodwork I probably would have kindly brushed him off. I’ve given the Average Joes plenty of opportunity to disabuse me of the lesson they taught me long ago: If they look boring, they are boring. Men who don’t take pride in their appearance send the message they’re unserious or apathetic about finding a partner. If they are serious, they work to make the best impression they can, rather than aimlessly casting their line into the water looking for someone who’s also willing to settle. Don’t comment on her clothes if they’re commonplace. This guy observed a clearly outstanding accessory. If they were average sunglasses I would have said “Thank you,” and kept walking. But if the object of your affection wears something attention-worthy, comment on it! Say, “I agree!” with a big smile, pointing to her slogan button. Or, “OutRAAAAAAGeous shirt!” Sunglasses Guy got twenty minutes of my time before I cut the convo short, and if he hadn’t asked for my phone number I would have asked for his. What men relentlessly don’t understand is that women need a little time to get to know you. I quite comfortably generalize here. It’s not misandry, guys. Danger is our lived reality. It’s mind-boggling how few men understand this. “Come on, get in the car, I’ll take you up to the mall, you don’t have to wait for the bus!” “No thank you,” she says. “What’s the matter? I won’t hurt you!” “Come on, I’m a violent serial rapist! I’ll drop you off at the mall!” said no stranger ever. If she scooches away from you—LET IT GO. It’s frustrating, but it’s better than making her fearful, and it’s not important whether her discomfort is you, wokeness, some past trauma or she has a boyfriend. It’s a negative signal to move on. Make it natural. Ask for directions. You might get that fluttery initial smile. If she doesn’t go back to her book or mobile, crack a joke about how you once got lost in your own apartment. If she laughs and smiles—keep it up. And natural. Don’t try to be super-clever, which is hard to do when you’re nervous. If you can keep the conversation going for several minutes, ask if she’d like to get together again. You might get turned down, or you might not, but you probably won’t get accused of systemically oppressing a female person with your phallocentric entitlement. Neil Strauss advised in The Game that rejection is how you get better at getting a yes. How not to talk yourself out of a yes I will assume you’ve dropped everything by this paragraph and gone through your closet and schlepped to the thrift store anything that makes you look stupid, invisible, or worst of all, like Adam Sandler. I will assume you’ve at least made an appointment for a good haircut. So now, here you are, looking better than you did several sections ago. Congratulations, we can see you better now! You might find you’re kind of cute or handsome, after all. I’ve seen men I thought unattractive appear with a great haircut and think, “How did I miss that? Oh, he was hiding it.” You now have another small leg up on most of your competition, except for the babe-a-ramas. Fortunately, not all women want one. Don’t ask her name upfront She knows what you’re doing. You’ve just informed her you don’t understand the need to chat her up first. She has to make a snap decision. You’ll get a yes only if she finds you attractive at first sight. Don’t start by asking personal questions See the previous paragraph. Don’t comment on her physical looks Ditto. Be wary of ‘woke’ or ‘social justice warrior’ signals. These women can be fairly tetchy, although not all, of course. Research consistently shows that young liberal women report higher levels of mental health distress than other groups, and sometimes expect potential dating partners to tick a lengthy list of ‘acceptable’ political and ideological positions. What if she goes viral-worthy on me? Oh. Them. The drama queens. Here’s how to handle rejection. Don’t pull out your phone and record her. It will just inflame her, and draw attention from others who haven’t heard the previous friendly interchange, and think you’re the asshole. Don’t get defensive or apologize. You did nothing wrong. When dealing with a bad or over-reaction, your job is to remain calm, and the most powerful thing you can do is walk away. Nothing looks worse for a crazy woman than a man who doesn’t grovel for forgiveness, and then shows her his receding backside. Have standards and boundaries. Don’t tolerate bad behavior. “Sorry I’ve caught you on a bad day,” and walking away will encourage anyone who’s watching to respect you more than her. It’s easy to assume ‘the crowd’ is a bunch of wokies in sympathy with her. But they’re a small albeit loud minority. Chances are, the crowd is peppered heavily with normies silently sympathetic to you. Snappy comebacks for drama queens Give her something to think about before you pull your head-held-high retreat. Remember: Finding women attractive isn’t a crime. “Wow. I didn’t think it was bad form to ask for a date when we seemed to be getting on so well, but a simple No would have sufficed.”“Sorry, I wasn’t being patriarchal. It’s my day off.”“I was just being social, not systemic. Have a nice day.”“Thank you for making it clear I just avoided a big mistake.”“You’ve mistaken a polite introduction for an act of aggression. Thanks for helping me dodge a bullet.”“All you needed to say was, ‘No thank you’. But now I have a great story to tell on Facebook tonight about crazy feminists!” Remind her that shaming works both ways. Only offer a snappy comeback if you can walk away after your zinger and leave her. Otherwise, you will be drawn into her drama and lose face. The simple rules most men ignore If this advice sounds pedestrian or common sense, I can assure you: IT’S NOT. Most men will research anything except “how to get a girl to like me”. What if incels stuck in ’80s movies spent their time Googling to better understand women, instead of moaning to each other about hypergamous females and hot chads? I’ll sum it up in three points: Look your best. Start a conversation. Move on and try again. Good luck! And if you’d rather not try, you might well have a future as a career criminal. Did you like this post? Do you want to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter Grow Some Labia so you never miss a damn thing! There are also Substack and Spotify podcasts of more recent articles!

"GROW A PAIR" That's what we say to men when we think they're acting weak. "Grow some balls!" So what do we say when women are acting weak? We can't very well tell them to grow some balls. Women can't, of course! Women need to 'grow some labia'! They're the parts of the vagina that would have become the scrotum for the balls had she been born a male instead (and since she didn't, what would have been her balls are her ovaries). But I doubt you came here for a female anatomy lesson. It's time for us to grow some labia and woman up, show more strength, challenge ourselves more. Time to take more charge and responsibility for our lives, and spend less time blaming 'The Patriarchy' or systemic sexism. Those things exist, for sure, but at some point we've got to recognize the buck stops with the woman in the mirror and we need to claim our power (or reclaim it if we gave it away somehow!) So it's time for women everywhere to GROW SOME LABIA! I've written a few blog posts about how we can do exactly that and reclaim our power! Feminism The differences between victim feminism, which sees women as chronically aggrieved and victimized by men and 'The Patriarchy', and power feminism, which is more focused on one's self, achieving and claiming personal power and using it for the betterment of others. Dec 21, 2024 The Transfolk Who Really Do Need Our Support The experience of 'The Bearded Lesbian' reminds us some folks really do need to transition; and how LGBTQ can fail them I began following... Dec 5, 2024 American Feminists Don't Need A 4B Movement The South Korean feminism project will be dead in the water. Like it or not, we need men, and they need us. Maybe we just need to reform... Nov 24, 2024 Emma Watson, Emma Watson, Wherefore Art Thou, Emma Watson? The foxy fauxminist has gone missing in recent years. No movies. No fauxminist outbursts. Not even any trans love tweeted. I... Nov 17, 2024 Progressive Democrats Hate Women More Than The Right. Especially Feminists. Right-wing misogyny isn't How The Left Was Lost. It was women's, the primary administrators and executors of patriarchy and misogyny. The... Oct 12, 2024 A Frenchwoman Is Dead Serious About Holding ALL Her Rapists Accountable The Gisele Pelicot case highlights just how frighteningly high is the number of 'normal' men who have a penchant for, and might be... Sep 14, 2024 Let's Have A Grownup Talk About Privilege - With Curiosity Rather Than Outrage It's real. It's worth exploring even for the UnWoke. Its purpose is to open our own eyes rather than beat up others (and ourselves) over... Feminism Substack Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER for all my latest on power feminism, reclaiming your power, and the ongoing culture wars. Visit Substack >> Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER

WELCOME TO MY WEBSITE ABOUT POWER Big Girls Don't Blame The Patriarchy Explore The Blog LABIA POWER! About Me Grow Some Labia! is written by a liberal, feminist writer and social justice critic who teaches women and others how to reclaim their power and avoid partner abuse. She also candidly critiques far-left, progressive/woke/ social justice extremism. It's a place for people who lean left or right, but not so far their brains fall out. GSL's work can be found here and on Substack, Quora. And maybe a few other places. About Me The Latest From My Labia Power! Blog 5 days ago Daniel Penny: The Hero That Wasn't "He scared the living daylights out of everybody." The woke left damns Daniel Penny for trying to save others from a clearly disturbed... Jan 4 We Have To Think About Moderating X, Bluesky And Other Social Media The anoymous psychos who call for others' assassinations are a direct threat to democracy and public safety. Threats are NOT free speech.... Jan 1 Here Comes The 'Woke Right' And It Looks A Helluva Lot Like The Woke Left Brand-new management, same as the last! But the bipartisan UnWoke have the recent accumulated observation to help call out the... Dec 25, 2024 Roman Holiday - A Christmas Story Oh no! Not another Messiah! CC0 public domain Just what we need. Another bloody Messiah. The name’s Flatulous. I’m a Roman soldier in... Dec 21, 2024 The Transfolk Who Really Do Need Our Support The experience of 'The Bearded Lesbian' reminds us some folks really do need to transition; and how LGBTQ can fail them I began following... Dec 14, 2024 Is There Any Real Joy In Learning Anymore? Can students even experience learning something intriguing or unexpected? Or are they only told what to think? "Just kill me now!"... Explore The Blog DON'T BE THE VICTIM Take back your power. NOW. It started with abused women who didn't know they could say No to abuse. It morphed into taking back your power from political bullies and haters, including 'social justice warriors'. Don't Be The Victim GROW SOME LABIA "Grow a pair!" That's what we say to men when we think they're acting weak. "Grow some balls!" So what do we say when women are acting weak? We can't very well tell them to grow some balls. Women can't, of course! Women need to 'grow some labia'! Grow Some Labia I also take on the crazies from the right and the left. Subscribe to my FREE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER

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