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What Greta Thunberg Teaches Us About How To Handle Small Dick Energy

Updated: Mar 12, 2023

A teenage activist outs Andrew Tate, the Internet's most insecure manchild, and teaches us how to pwn these guys ourselves

Teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg & men's rights self-described misogynist Andrew Tate
CC0 BY 2.0 Greta Thunberg image by Streetsblog Denver. CC0 BY 3.0 Andrew Tate image by Anything Goes with James English; both on Wikimedia Commons

Queen of the Zingers she ain’t, but prompting toxic masculinity influencer Andrew Tate to make a global idiot of himself just before before he got arrested for alleged human trafficking brings major kudos to the biggest stick up his butt, professional perma-scold Greta Thunberg.

She triggered the swaggering ‘entrepreneur’ whose greatest skill is offering third-rate getrichquick schemes to clueless men, with a fairly unremarkable tweet about his ‘small dick energy’ when he tried to pick a fight with her after Christmas. I’d never heard of him.

Apparently he’s this global phenomenon douchebag, whose skills also include teaching men to be misogynist, and how to invest in cryptocurrency. How’s that working out, fanboys? Are ya rich yet?

December 27th:

The only mildly interesting element of Thunberg’s tweet is ‘small dick energy’. Tate may have only seen the ‘small dick’ part, or was likely unaware that ‘small dick energy’ doesn’t refer to actual penis size, but is slang for people (not just men) who overcompensate with a lot of cockiness and swagger while covering up some embarrassing secret.

Who knew misogynist men were so easily triggered?

Tate’s embarrassing secret

Andrew Tate demonstrated he does, in fact, have small dick energy, exposing his deep masculinity insecurity.

There’s an important learning within the whole Tate-Thunberg affair.

The 36-year-old man who tried to start a fight with the pinch-faced activist nearly half his age responded to her mildly amusing tweet with over-the-top rage.

Had he let it go, what became one of the most retweeted tweets in Twitter history might have trended for a few hours and died.

But no, his failure to elicit the attention he wanted from the activist who advocates for a cleaner, safer planet to live on impelled him to let loose a torrent of abusive invective at Thunberg, who ignored him. She had shit to do, man. She’s saving the world!

After a few hours of Twitter twitting him, trending Andrew Tate and #smalldickenergy, Tate released an over-the-top video of himself dressed like a bargain-basement Ming the Merciless, smoking a big-penis cigar like a film noir gangster, staging a pizza delivery, calling after the faux deliveryman to ‘make sure those boxes don’t get recycled’, inexplicably flashing some nip, blathering on about ‘The Matrix’ that Greta Thunberg and the mainstream media are part of, and making himself look like the clueless, desperately insecure little man he is, furious that he got pwned by a teenager.

Hours later, he and his brother Tristan were arrested by Romanian police for alleged human sex-trafficking violations, and alleged rape. Twitter went wild again, especially when the story spread that the pizza box in the video gave police an address where they could track Tate down. What kind of perfect Hollywood ending was that? Andrew Tate brought down by his own small dick energy, called out and ridiculed by Greta Thunberg and the global Internet.

The pizza box takedown isn’t true, according to Romanian authorities, who had been tracking the Tate bros in Romania, but it’s the sort of J-Edgar-Hoover-in-pantyhose urban legend we should perpetuate, since it will drive Tate absolutely insane.

Commented Greta after his arrest,

I stand corrected. Maybe she is, in fact, the Queen of the Zingers!

Who is Andrew Tate…

If, like me, you thought, “Andrew who?” while checking Twitter mid-Christmas week, here’s a brief sketch of the puffed-up social injustice warrior. He’s an Internet influencer and founder of ‘Hustler’s University’, a collection of fairly pedestrian online classes for gullible young men who could just as easily get this information from YouTube. Tate purports to teach them how to getrichquick like he genuinely has, although he leaves out the parts about running fraudulent webcams, human trafficking, and how the most lucrative way to make money as a Hustlers U student is through Tate’s affiliate marketing programs getting others to sign up.

He also coaches them on how to ‘reclaim’ their masculinity and be a self-described misogynist like him, with some of his more extreme proclamations including that women are owned by men, that they shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house when they’re in a relationship, and that they need to ‘take some responsibility' if they get raped.

Tate is a former professional kickboxer who rose to fame on the TV show Big Brother mostly from being kicked off a week later after producers saw a video in which Tate physically abused some girlfriend with a belt. He claimed it was consensual kinky sex, as does she.

He had millions of followers on social media before being banned from about a half-dozen of the majors for misogynist comments and ‘hate speech’, mostly against women. It did nothing to harm his bottom line, turning him into a free-speech martyr for the anti-woke set.

He is, nevertheless, a self-made very rich man, having conned a lot of gullible young man into ‘leaving the Matrix’ and teaching them to blame feminism for their problems rather than the toxic masculinity he serves. His Hustlers U website contains several laughable photos of students in the process of leaving The Matrix, many with their faces or heads blocked off because they’re not, I assume, man enough to be identified. If you want to see what The Patriarchy looks like, check out Andrew Tate’s ‘War Room’ website (sorry, you’ll have to Google it, I’m not linking to it). It’s the Priscilla, Queen of the Desert of toxic masculinity - so over-the-top you can only laugh. This is where ‘overcompensation’ goes to be defined.

…And what’s wrong with his penis?

Tate’s hostility to climate change activist Greta Thunberg is part of what might be termed the Green Resistance.

A fair chunk of climate change denial comes from men who see protection of the environment as a feminine activity and therefore something a ‘real man’ should eschew. Toxic masculinity is all about conquest, whether it’s the environment, ‘inferior’ races or women. Men often express their masculinity via their cars and when a man is as desperately insecure as Andrew Tate, it can take as many as 33 big-ass emissions-spewing high-performance sports cars to make him feel better about himself.

The grand irony of Tate’s willful dedication to polluting the environment is that his alleged ‘33’ Bugattis (Romanian authorities have only seized eleven which suggests Tate may be exaggerating size) may be directly contributing to the diminishment of he-man masculinity more than the most ball-bustin’ man-hatin’ Jordan Peterson-triggerin’ feminist ever could.

Chemical exposure is linked to declining sperm counts while a researcher finds that pollution is actually shrinking penis and testes size and volume, and it’s not doing much for female reproductive capability either, that in some parts of the world, the average woman in her twenties is less fertile than her grandmother was at 35.

(Off-topic question: How many more Bugattis would it take to make Andrew Tate’s penis completely disappear?)

Why does a rich guy like Tate hate women so much?

Shouldn’t Andrew Tate be able to get as much consensual sex as he wants?

Many of his followers are angry incels who can’t get laid to save their lives, but know that would change if they got rich. I understand why they’re angry. But not Tate; he now has his pick of the world’s most beautiful women, unless perhaps that’s changed if, nearly twenty-five years into the new century, beautiful women can afford to be pickier and not tolerate an abusive, suspiciously psychopathic cartoon Rambo.

Losing his mind over a tweet from Greta Thunberg demonstrates what Margaret Atwood has observed, that what men fear most is being laughed at by women. Except it’s doubtful Thunberg was laughing at him. She merely responded with a lame tweet and moved on.

Thunberg, a global activist celebrity who engenders mixed feelings in many, has got to be a stinging slap in the face to a man who claims he only dates 18-19-year olds because they’re not too sexually experienced (leading me to wonder what he’s trying to cover up there, hmmm). Thunberg is famous for her perma-scold demeanor and pinched, unpleasant scowl. She’s supremely annoying despite her sound, valid and human-desperate fight to slow or reverse climate change.

She gets a very simple fact that Tate doesn’t: It’s not a good idea to shit where you sleep, and he has to live on this planet too.

Still, a message from Greta Thunberg is like being gifted a candy bar wrapped in a shit tamale. You want what’s inside, but have to get past the unpleasant exterior.

She lobbed a low-grade insult bomb at Tate and he took the bait. Furious that she accused him of being a swaggering empty masculinity suit, or perhaps he believed she’d insulted his dick, he lost his mind, unleashed his verbal flamethrower and she ignored him while Da Internetz went wild. It was 395 million Twitter users against one, not including any lame-ass supporters who tried to defend him, which opened them up to their own torrent of abuse and derision from others.

Twitter: It ain’t for children.

Except for Thunberg, still very young, with childhood still in her rearview mirror, and at a highly vulnerable age to criticism and abuse. And she ignored him.

He might have driven most other 19-year-olds off social media entirely, except he picked a young woman who’s been a teenage activist for five years, and has been surrounded by older and wiser heads who have guided her through her difficult teenage years, made more challenging with autism, and armored her against the slings and arrows that come the way of any woman who dares to speak up and challenge male authority. Especially men like Andrew Tate who are directly responsible for contributing to climate change with his alleged 33 cars.

No, Macho Man picked the woman least likely to shrink off Twitter and delete her account. Someone who has taken vicious abuse from better than the likes of he responded to his boast about his penis enhancers like she figured she should just toss off one dismissive retort. It didn’t sound like she put much thought into it, far less than he put into his laughable and now infamous ‘pizza box’ response.

She dissed him, and she fucked off and ignored him, while Twitter picked up the gauntlet and universally laughed at Tate, then renewed and magnified it ten times over when he got arrested and the 'pizza box’ narrative grew.

Whenever he gets out of jail he will be haunted and taunted by that silly-ass forever video. The jig is up: We have seen him for what he is, a teenage boy locked in a man’s body who’s easily triggered by the school wallflower.

Greta Thunberg shows us chickie-boos how it’s done.

As the latest global backlash against women’s rights unfolds (once again) as women continue to make strides around the world (as always), tiny little men like Andrew Tate spew hatred boosted by antediluvian Biblical texts he picks ‘n’ chooses from like salad bar religious fundamentalists. It’s not just I-don’t-give-a-fuck Greta Thunberg who triggers emotional boyos like Tate: It’s all of us who don’t pay attention to their petty gender tyranny, don’t respond to their misogynist manboy comments, who barely give them a glance as we pass them by.

It’s something to think about the next time we’re in the presence of a poisonous peacock who’s trying to trigger us with dominating discourse. They want to fight with feminists so they can, in their own minds at least, take our power. But what if we met such abuse with a smug smile and non-triggered responses?

“I only date very young women because they’ve been through less dick!”

“So, they’re too inexperienced to recognize how sexually inadequate you are?

After all, if she’s had some really good men you’re so over at the first push-pull-repeat.”

“Women need to share their responsibility when they get raped!”

“Is rape the only way you can have sex? Is propositioning women a constant stream of ‘no-no-no’s for you?”

“Men own women.”

“Interesting. You know, you’re only here because you’re mother allowed you to be born. You’re here because a woman chose to let you.” (Emphasis on the disempowering rhetoric).

The point is not to refute what he said (anyone within earshot who isn’t a raging misogynist knows it’s BS) but to always keep the focus of attention not on what he says, but what he is. To make sure he understands you see right through him, and that includes his terrifying vulnerability.

Challenging toxic masculinists like Andrew Tate by dismissing them without showing anger diminishes them faster than PCBs in their tap water. These guys live to take feminists’ power by triggering them and making them feel threatened by men like him. We can even take it back by meeting them with humor.

Outright laughter may not be the best course of action in the presence of such a man; women have been murdered for laughing at men. Also, it’s not at all helpful, and inducing shame makes people more violent, not less. But you won’t get murdered for smiling and moving on - dismissing him.

Greta Thunberg exposed more than Andrew Tate when he flashed a nip: Not only does he have small dick energy, he may well have a smaller penis than he had when he was a kid.

Think about that the next time you meet a he-man who drives a vehicle that gets three miles to the gallon.

If he didn’t have an undersized dick when he bought it, he may now.


If you know where I can get Andrew Tate’s version of I Want to Drive a Pink Cadillac, Wear Diamond Rings, and Kick Women In the Butt, drop me a line!

Did you like this post? Would you like to see more? I lean left of center, but not so far over my brains fall out. Subscribe to my Substack newsletter Grow Some Labia so you never miss a post!




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