Updated: May 5
Would they die with their bike grip-shaped dick in their hand?
My fantasy of what a North American new-members incel convention will look like in the Rearing Twenties. Public domain photo by Piqsels
Updated on May 5, 2022 to remove the f-word to make it more share-friendly.
Alyssa Milano had a germ of a good idea last year when she suggested that American women cut men off from sex if they lost their abortion rights. I’m sure her comment was tongue-in-cheek, perhaps to remind men how those halcyon 1950s some of them long for also included less sex for unmarried men, as exemplified by like every Doris Day movie ever.
Feminists noted it encouraged the stereotype that women control and use sex to manipulate men, while others pointed out the glaringly obvious: Women don’t want to keep it in their pants either!
It’s a fair enough trade, though: If men decide what women do with their wombs, then women decide what they do with their dicks.
Granted, it punishes women along with plenty of good men who don’t deserve celibacy just because the Trumpies are terrified of our Mighty Muffs.
There’s a non-abortion-related tweak to this. It involves women manipulating men with sex, but why don’t we all just admit we’ve always controlled the nookie anyway. Men are wired to spread their seed, and we’re wired to be a lot more selective.
Men can always take their own control and refuse to have sex with manipulative women.
I got to wondering: Why do women have sex with abusive men?
What message does it send when a man whacks a woman around but she still has sex with him later?
If he hit her before they became intimate, why’d she ever shag him in the first place? Hell, with men like that, once they shag you they think they own you.
ROTLFMAO! 'Not have sex with manipulative women'! I kill me, I absolutely kill me!!!
What if she Just Said No to shagging abusive men? What if all women did?
Just imagine a world in which O.J. Simpson couldn’t get any. Or Mel Gibson. Sean Penn. XXXTentacion, whoever that is. Ray Rice. Chris Brown. Jose Canseco. Johnny Depp. (Yeah, Johnny Depp. Don’t have sex with him.)
But nooooooo, O.J. Simpson’s world is full of women who want to shag his murderous ass, and then are surprised when he acts like a crazy mofo.
I just started reading Hunter S. Thompson’s book on the Hell’s Angels and he quotes one of them as saying that plenty of women come around all the time trying to get down with the world’s most notorious gang. I believe him. It’s true.
The world is far too full of women willing to reward and encourage violent bad boys.
Feminists say we should focus on men’s behaviour rather than women’s, since it’s men who make the choice to be abusive. That’s true. But so far it hasn’t eliminated abusive men. I think they need to be incentivized.
I say hit ’em where it hurts. Figuratively speaking. I would never advocate violence against someone else, even if she had a reasonable chance of kicking his ass with her amazing Buffy or Xena powers.
A guy can still choose to be abusive, but get a lot less tail if he does.
In the Middle East, where access to women is severely restricted in many places, men have to turn to each other for sexual gratification. We should call our new decade the Rearing Twenties, because abusive men will have to give it and take it up the rear if they’re going to get any action at all. Hey, lots of men want anal! Here’s an abusive man’s opportunity to explore this practice in-depth.
Or, they can learn to love scratchy blowjobs.
And this is always a default option. Creative Commons CC0 from Peakpx
This is an opportunity for some of those angry incels. With less competition from violent dickwads, they stand a better chance with women, if they’ll clean up their acts a bit and maybe learn a few social skills and fight the same body image problems women suffer from.
They don’t need implants for a manlier jaw any more than a woman needs a boob job. I’ve lurked in a few incel forums, and some are actually kind of cute, but they don’t see it, just like pretty women who scrutinize themselves and see nothing but flaws.
Feminists’ fantasy is that if we berate men enough they’ll stop abusing women. Good luck with that.
I say, let’s motivate them better. Let’s refuse to have sex with abusive men with a One Strike principle.
The first time he hits you is his last. He never sees you naked again. Or ever, if it hasn’t happened yet.
Then we spread the word to others so they know not to do the nasty with him either.
I wonder how long violent men would stay violent if it directly impacted their access to vagina?
I know. It’s not realistic. But it’s my fantasy.
And in my fantasy world, abusive men can’t get laid. Ever.
They evolve into civilized human beings, or they die with their bicycle grip-shaped dick in their hand.
And the good guys laugh between grunts and groans.
This first appeared on Medium in 2020.